I don't give a damn about Anna Hazare. And neither do you.
I feel patriotic when India plays cricket against Pakistan. But not when I have to drag my butt all the way to school on 15 August and 26 January, to participate in a marching exercise on a FRICKIN' HOLIDAY!
I feel really good about my country's history when I watch Lagaan, but I find it very inconvenient to stand upright for 52 seconds when the national anthem plays unexpectedly.
I would rather pay 200 bucks to the police constable than risk not getting my passport on time. I have to fly away to better lands soon, after all. I don't give a damn about Anna Hazare. And neither do you.
I feel outraged when I hear about thousands of crores of my country's money being looted by those filthy politicians. But I will not pay to buy video games, movies or music albums because I can easily find that stuff for free on the Internet in less than 5 minutes anyway.
I feel violated when the auto-rickshaw driver demands extra fare like it's his fundamental right. But I will gladly pay the fine and a little extra, too, if I am caught driving on the wrong side of the road. Besides, who wants to get their name on a police record? And that U-turn is so inconveniently far for me to reach on my bike.
I will go (and take all my friends too) to support the whole anti-corruption protest thing, because protests are THE trend now; I heard about them on Twitter and Facebook, and I'm told they are a big hit in Egypt. I will chant slogans and call names against all the politicians who have the b***s to represent me and steal what's not rightfully theirs.
You see, I'll stand by and watch my country get raped by incompetent leaders, ineffective laws and countless bombs, but I cannot digest the fact that someone else is getting rich the easy way and I'm getting left behind.
THAT is what riles me up and drives me to the streets in protest. Not some ancient dude who is clearly living on borrowed time. I couldn't give a tiny rat's a** about his policies and problems, because I have got too many of my own.
If I see an accident I will drive away because I have to go home and watch TV instead of wasting my time with police FIRs. I will pay for my house partially in cash if it means a smaller registration fee.
If I have to enroll my kid in a really awesome "international" school, I will sell my kidney to pay the "donation". If I need to marry my daughter off to a well-to-do NRI, I will shower his entire family, including his dog, with kingly 'gifts' like cars, air conditioners and plots of land, though I officially condemn the dowry system.
If I had the slightest care in the world about corruption, Anna Hazare wouldn't need to exist at all.
But I guess it's obvious by now. I just don't give a damn. I have 1.2 billion brains, and I still live under the illusion that this retired man is fighting for me against a bunch of inept politicians.
I will probably never realize that I am protesting against myself. And neither will you.
(A guest post by Arun Shashank)