Bread Stats....

[IMFB]

Bread Statistics



1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.

2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.

5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!

6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.

7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.

8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.

9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.

11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.

12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread restrictions:

1. No sale of bread to minors.

2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, with complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.

3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.

4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.

5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools

[The Rainmaker]

hey... lotsa stats there!



but do u realize the consequences of ur actions? a lot of people.. ranging from your neighborhood kirana shop to universal bakers... will lose their daily "bread and butter".

[Alexis]

Youve gotta be kidding!

[The Rainmaker]

that of course depends on how many people give up bread after reading your post.



i'll brb -- have to grab cheesebread , a local lebanese delicacy made by the bakery downstairs

[azazel]

what a load of crap.. me's gonna go fix me some nutella sandwiches..

[CtrlAltDel]

4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.

:shock: my wife loves bread n she just had a cheese sandwich....



*looks fearfully towards the kitchen....what is she doing with a kitchen knife in hand......oh...cutting vegetables...for now...*

[Alexis]

4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.

:shock: my wife loves bread n she just had a cheese sandwich....

*looks fearfully towards the kitchen....what is she doing with a kitchen knife in hand......oh...cutting vegetables...for now...*

Hell hath no fury like a woman who just ate bread, eh Andy?!!!

[Aquarian81]

The statistics remind me of a dark comedy play I watched............it was very sarcastic and funny.

[Dedh_Quintal]

Bread Statistics

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.
4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!
6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.
7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.
8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.
10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.
In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread restrictions:
1. No sale of bread to minors.
2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, with complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.
3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools

============================================



Are you talking about commercial grade bread or all bread!!



Abbe ullu Roti, Kapda Aur Makan is what the world is built on.



All great leaders and prophets have recommended that Humans consume bread.



Have you joined a company that markets CEREALS (THEN YOU MKTG STRATEGY IS GOOD)



==========================================



Bread deserves to have an important place in the diet because it is inexpensive, low in fat and healthy. It is a valuable source of protein, carbohydrate, dietary fibre and many vitamins and minerals.



Dietary guidelines recommend that the average moderately active adult should eat 4 or 5 slices of bread a day. Active people who are not overweight can eat more. The amount of fat spread on each slice should be limited to one level teaspoon of butter, margarine or mayonnaise. Sugary spreads such as jam and honey should have their use limited to one slice of bread a day.



Most bread eaten in Australia is made from wheat flour. The wheat grain consists mainly of a bran layer, the small germ and the largest portion called the endosperm. During milling the bran and germ can be removed, leaving the starchy endosperm which is ground to make white flour. This is used to bake white bread. Wholemeal bread is made from flour in which the entire grain is ground. Wholegrain bread has a small amount of unground grain left in the flour. Multi-grain bread is made from a mixture of grains, usually wheat and rye.



Bread made with whole grain flour generally has more fibre, vitamins and minerals, especially iron, than white bread, however, white flour products still contain a significant nutrient content. Enjoy a variety of breads.



Bread products also include unleavened flat bread such as pita and Lebanese, rye and pumpernickel.

[azazel]

^^^ aapki bakery kahan hai ??

[The Rainmaker]

^^^ aapki bakery kahan hai ??

mere ko bhi woich poochna thha! fullhyd threads pe bakery-walon aur cereal company walon ki ladai ho rahi hai!!!

[Geekz in town]

People tht was a joke can't u see (or I can't see tht u can see tht)

it just shows tht everyone eats bread all the time .



or maybe everyone saw tht but pretend to be ignorant and along i come and try being the smart a**

[azazel]

or maybe everyone saw tht but pretend to be ignorant and along i come and try being the smart a**

there, u just answered urself brudda..

[The Rainmaker]

People tht was a joke can't u see (or I can't see tht u can see tht)
it just shows tht everyone eats bread all the time .

or maybe everyone saw tht but pretend to be ignorant and along i come and try being the smart a**

woich...