black wizard wrote:well...guys...first things first, azazel spoke to her...she denied everything...she said that i misunderstood...in short: she pushed the blame on me...when i spoke to her she told me that i did not misunderstand.
gawd!!!...females should make up their minds or stop playing games...i think my "friend" knows about it...i think i've been had(yet again).
i think all of this was a game...i guess they wanted to test my credibility.
i miserably failed.
i dunno what to do. i dunno how i feel. all i wonder is how people can have the heart to use someone according to their whims and fancies...i thought she cared about me...but then i was wrong...
i thought people who claimed to be my friends loved me and cared for me...alas, i was wrong. dude azazel ur the man...u stuck with me thru all this shit. u helped me to come out clean at the end.
its sumthing like when u love sumone with so much intensity and in return u dont even get a shred of what u expect then u tend to loose control over urself and u feel...god i have no words to describe how it feels...
i guess u feel really really hurt.
i tried telling myself that this wasnt worth it. i treid telling myself that this whole thing is wrong, i tried forgetting about the whole affair...the whole deal
but i see her right in front of me, those innocent eyes, those soft silken hands, her dark mysterious hair.
...but then the pain just lingers.
and trust me when ur hurt emotionally the pain just stays. it never goes away. maybe i expected a little 2 much from her. maybe it was my fault.
self pity is like the worst thing, but i just cant help myself.
i guess no one can help feeling bad for themselves when u have to let go of someone u love...and if u love that person with the utmost intensity then it just adds to the misery. i want to tell her how hurt i am, i want to show what i'm going thru but then i cant...
alas, misery and an a long wait
Hey dude
looks like u r goin thru a lotta pain
Must tell u - I admire ur courage to come and discuss this issue in a public forum - its obviously a very sensitive one.
First things first - dont blame her for ur pain and suffering. she may or may not be completely responsible for any of it. And she must be hurting too. So must ur friend.
And the part where u r hurting - u r bound to. Don t try to push ur pain n misery away. It'll only resurface. Try learning from it - sorrow has a lot of lessons to teach. Some that would take u by surprise.
Never push the suffering away. Overcome it.
What i gather is that you are not a very strong person - i could be wrong - but then this could be a stepping stone for you. You might be more equipped to face more crap in the future. Which i must tell u always happens.
There is always crap that life will fling your way, but u have to know how to be able to resurface. And if u dont know, learn!!
Nothing is ever easy- but is never impossible
And the last thing - what are u gonna get by telling her how u feel. Closure! I doubt it! If only it will make u feel worse
My final words of utmost wisdom to u -
Pick up the pieces and move on! Gather wisdom from this! Be better armed for the future. But this doesn't mean u turn cynical, please!
FOR SALE: Parachute. Used only once. Never opened. Small red stain.