A letter has been sent from a husband:
Dear Sweetheart:
I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses. You are my sweetheart, your husband.
Your Loving Husband,
His wife replied back after some days to her husband:
Dearest sweetheart,
Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.
1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.
2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses instead of the rent.
4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him some other items.
5. Other expenses 40 kisses
Please don't worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope that I can complete the month using this balance.
Shall I plan same way for next months, please advise.
Your Sweet Heart.
----------
- Chahat
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Joke of the day
Moderator: The Moderator Team
Sardar Jokes
Q: HOW DO YOU KEEP A SARDARJI BUSY ALL DAY?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner.
Q: How do you make a sardarji laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
Q: Why did the sardarji stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.
Q: How do you keep a sardarji busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q: Why can't sardarjis make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.
Q: How did the sardarji try to kill the bird?
A: He threw it off a cliff.
Q: Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
A: Because below 18 was not allowed !!!
Q: What do you call a sardarji in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.
Q: Why did the sardarji take his typewriter to the doctor ??
A: He thought it was pregnant because it missed a period.
Q: A sardarji ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
sardarji #1: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
sardarji #2: "No, who wrote it?"
What about the sardarji wife who gave birth to twins?
Her husband is out looking for the other man.
Have a nice day.
-Chotee
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner.
Q: How do you make a sardarji laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
Q: Why did the sardarji stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.
Q: How do you keep a sardarji busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q: Why can't sardarjis make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.
Q: How did the sardarji try to kill the bird?
A: He threw it off a cliff.
Q: Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
A: Because below 18 was not allowed !!!
Q: What do you call a sardarji in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.
Q: Why did the sardarji take his typewriter to the doctor ??
A: He thought it was pregnant because it missed a period.
Q: A sardarji ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
sardarji #1: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
sardarji #2: "No, who wrote it?"
What about the sardarji wife who gave birth to twins?
Her husband is out looking for the other man.
Have a nice day.
-Chotee
"It's all purchased by blood"
-
Chotee - Registered User
- Posts: 46
- Joined: Sat Feb 24, 2007 4:25 pm
- Location: Hyderabad
Landing on the pool of shit!!
There were these three guys. They had been walking for 3 days and were very tired. They found a hotel, rented a room and went to sleep. Then, this old guy comes in out of nowhere, and says there is a magic pool just outside their hotel room. He tells them "Ok, you must jump off the diving board, and yell out what you wanna land in."
So the three guys go over to the pool. The first guy, a vegetarian, yells out "Bananas!" and lands in a pool of bananas. The second guy was money hungry and yelled out "Money!" and lands in a pile of money. The third guy jumps, when a bird shits on his head, and he yells "Oh Shit!"
----------
- Chahat
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So the three guys go over to the pool. The first guy, a vegetarian, yells out "Bananas!" and lands in a pool of bananas. The second guy was money hungry and yelled out "Money!" and lands in a pile of money. The third guy jumps, when a bird shits on his head, and he yells "Oh Shit!"
----------
- Chahat
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- Chahat
- Registered User
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- Joined: Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:10 pm
Dear Cat owners,
Following are instructions on the best way to bath your cat:
1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water and have both lids lifted.
3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape).
CAUTION: Don't get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out to grab anything they can find. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides a "powerwash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.
6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can and quickly lift both lids.
8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and run outside where he will dry himself.
Sincerely,
The DOG
- mere billi mughe se miyaoo . . .
Following are instructions on the best way to bath your cat:
1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water and have both lids lifted.
3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape).
CAUTION: Don't get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out to grab anything they can find. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides a "powerwash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.
6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can and quickly lift both lids.
8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and run outside where he will dry himself.
Sincerely,
The DOG
- mere billi mughe se miyaoo . . .
"It's all purchased by blood"
-
Chotee - Registered User
- Posts: 46
- Joined: Sat Feb 24, 2007 4:25 pm
- Location: Hyderabad
Mother and son playing a game of MOMMY and DADDY!
A mother found her son scooping ice cream in the kitchen and was mad.
Mom : "Dinner is going to be ready in an hour, put that ice cream away and go play."
Son : "But mom, there's no one to play with."
Mom : "I'll play with you, what do you wanna play?"
Son : "Lets play mommy and daddy, you go upstairs and lay down on the bed."
The mom said ok and went upstairs. The son put on his dad's fishing hat and lit up one of his dad's cigarettes. He went upstairs and opened the door.
Mom : "Now what do I do?"
Son : "Get out of bed and fix that kid some ice cream."
----------
- Chahat
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Mom : "Dinner is going to be ready in an hour, put that ice cream away and go play."
Son : "But mom, there's no one to play with."
Mom : "I'll play with you, what do you wanna play?"
Son : "Lets play mommy and daddy, you go upstairs and lay down on the bed."
The mom said ok and went upstairs. The son put on his dad's fishing hat and lit up one of his dad's cigarettes. He went upstairs and opened the door.
Mom : "Now what do I do?"
Son : "Get out of bed and fix that kid some ice cream."
----------
- Chahat
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- Chahat
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A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.
The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250"
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.
Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy,
"How much?"
Boy - "$750"
Man - "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch."
The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy - "$1,000"
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that **** again...."
-
The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250"
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.
Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy,
"How much?"
Boy - "$750"
Man - "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch."
The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy - "$1,000"
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that **** again...."
-
"It's all purchased by blood"
-
Chotee - Registered User
- Posts: 46
- Joined: Sat Feb 24, 2007 4:25 pm
- Location: Hyderabad
Getting revenge with marriage
Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he sad to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones."
Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you."
Johnson: "But I want you to."
Wife: "But why?"
Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"
----------
- Chahat
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Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you."
Johnson: "But I want you to."
Wife: "But why?"
Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"
----------
- Chahat
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- Chahat
- Registered User
- Posts: 471
- Joined: Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:10 pm
Getting into fights
They were married, but since the argument they had a few days earlier, they hadn't been talking to each other.
Instead, they were giving each other written notes.
One evening he gave her a paper where it said:
"Wake me up tomorrow morning at 6 am."
The next morning he woke up and saw that it was 9 o'clock.
Naturally he got very angry, but as he turned around he found a note on his pillow saying:
"Wake up, it's 6 o'clock!"
----------
- Chahat
Read this joke of Gandhi Locha-Lafda hoga buddhe ka
http://www.JokesDuniya.com
Instead, they were giving each other written notes.
One evening he gave her a paper where it said:
"Wake me up tomorrow morning at 6 am."
The next morning he woke up and saw that it was 9 o'clock.
Naturally he got very angry, but as he turned around he found a note on his pillow saying:
"Wake up, it's 6 o'clock!"
----------
- Chahat
Read this joke of Gandhi Locha-Lafda hoga buddhe ka
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- Chahat
- Registered User
- Posts: 471
- Joined: Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:10 pm
Don't take any chance...
A person receives a telegram informing him about his mother-in-law's death.
It also enquires whether she should be buried or burnt.
He replies, "Don't take chances. Burn the body and bury the ashes."
----------
- Chahat
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It also enquires whether she should be buried or burnt.
He replies, "Don't take chances. Burn the body and bury the ashes."
----------
- Chahat
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- Chahat
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- Posts: 471
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We will not eat her .
Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path.
Before long, along came this little old man. The son said, "ooh dad, there's one." "No," said the father. "There's not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We'll just wait."
Well, a little while later, along came this really fat man. The son said, "hey dad, he's plenty big enough." "No," the father said. "We'd all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We'll just wait."
About an hour later, here comes this absolutely gorgeous woman.
The son said, "now there's nothing wrong with that one dad. Let's eat her."
"No," said the father. "We'll not eat her either."
"Why not?" Asked the son.
"Because, we're going to take her back alive and eat your mother."
----------
- Chahat
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Before long, along came this little old man. The son said, "ooh dad, there's one." "No," said the father. "There's not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We'll just wait."
Well, a little while later, along came this really fat man. The son said, "hey dad, he's plenty big enough." "No," the father said. "We'd all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We'll just wait."
About an hour later, here comes this absolutely gorgeous woman.
The son said, "now there's nothing wrong with that one dad. Let's eat her."
"No," said the father. "We'll not eat her either."
"Why not?" Asked the son.
"Because, we're going to take her back alive and eat your mother."
----------
- Chahat
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How women take action on their husbands???
There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn't find hairs on his jackets.
she yelled at him, "Great, so now you're cheating on me with a bald woman!"
The next night, when she didn't smell any perfume,
she yelled again by saying, "She's not only bald, but she's too cheap to buy any perfume!"
----------
- Chahat
Read this:- A sweet kissful letter from husband...
http://www.JokesDuniya.com
she yelled at him, "Great, so now you're cheating on me with a bald woman!"
The next night, when she didn't smell any perfume,
she yelled again by saying, "She's not only bald, but she's too cheap to buy any perfume!"
----------
- Chahat
Read this:- A sweet kissful letter from husband...
http://www.JokesDuniya.com
- Chahat
- Registered User
- Posts: 471
- Joined: Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:10 pm
Who is the smartest sister among the three
Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together.
One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see."
She starts up the stairs and pauses. "Was I going up the stairs or down?"
The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful," as she knocks on her wooden table for good measure.
She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door!"
----------
- Chahat
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One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see."
She starts up the stairs and pauses. "Was I going up the stairs or down?"
The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful," as she knocks on her wooden table for good measure.
She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door!"
----------
- Chahat
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Interview of a sardar:
Interviewer: tell me the opposite of good.
Sardar : bad.
Interviewer: come.
Sardar : go.
Interviewer: ugly.
Sardar : pichlli.
Interviewer: u g l y?
Sardar : pichlly !!!!!!!
Interviewer: shut up.
Sardar : keep talking.
Interviewer: get out.
Sardar : come in.
Interviewer: oh my god.
Sardar : oh my devil.
Interviewer: u r rejected.
Sardar : i am selected. Oh Balle ballle.
----------
- Chahat
Have you heard about these: Male and Female flies
http://www.JokesDuniya.com
Sardar : bad.
Interviewer: come.
Sardar : go.
Interviewer: ugly.
Sardar : pichlli.
Interviewer: u g l y?
Sardar : pichlly !!!!!!!
Interviewer: shut up.
Sardar : keep talking.
Interviewer: get out.
Sardar : come in.
Interviewer: oh my god.
Sardar : oh my devil.
Interviewer: u r rejected.
Sardar : i am selected. Oh Balle ballle.
----------
- Chahat
Have you heard about these: Male and Female flies
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- Chahat
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- Posts: 471
- Joined: Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:10 pm
There is no trust between these friends.
Three turtles, Joe, Steve, and Poncho, decide to go on a picnic.
Joe packs the picnic basket with cookies, bottled sodas, and sandwiches.
The trouble is, the picnic site is 10 miles away, so the turtles take 10 whole days to get there.
By the time they do arrive, everyone's whipped and hungry. Joe takes the stuff out of the basket, one by one.
He takes out the sodas and realizes that they forgot to bring a bottle opener.
Joe & Steve beg Poncho to turn back home and retrieve it,
but Poncho flatly refuses, knowing that they'll eat everything by the time he gets back.
Somehow, after about two hours, the turtles manage to convince Poncho to go,
swearing on their great-grand turtles' graves that they won't touch the food. So, Poncho sets off down the road, slow and steady.
Twenty days pass, but no Poncho. Joe and Steve are hungry and puzzled, but a promise is a promise.
Another day passes, and still no Poncho, but a promise is a promise.
After three more days pass without Poncho in sight, Steve starts getting restless.
"I NEED FOOD!" he says with a hint of dementia in his voice.
"NO!" Joe retorts. "We promised."
Five more days pass. Joe realizes that Poncho probably skipped out to the Burger King down the road,
so the two turtles weakly lift the lid, get a sandwich, and open their mouths to eat. But then, right at that instant, Poncho pops out behind a rock.
"Just for that, I'm not going."
----------
- Chahat
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Joe packs the picnic basket with cookies, bottled sodas, and sandwiches.
The trouble is, the picnic site is 10 miles away, so the turtles take 10 whole days to get there.
By the time they do arrive, everyone's whipped and hungry. Joe takes the stuff out of the basket, one by one.
He takes out the sodas and realizes that they forgot to bring a bottle opener.
Joe & Steve beg Poncho to turn back home and retrieve it,
but Poncho flatly refuses, knowing that they'll eat everything by the time he gets back.
Somehow, after about two hours, the turtles manage to convince Poncho to go,
swearing on their great-grand turtles' graves that they won't touch the food. So, Poncho sets off down the road, slow and steady.
Twenty days pass, but no Poncho. Joe and Steve are hungry and puzzled, but a promise is a promise.
Another day passes, and still no Poncho, but a promise is a promise.
After three more days pass without Poncho in sight, Steve starts getting restless.
"I NEED FOOD!" he says with a hint of dementia in his voice.
"NO!" Joe retorts. "We promised."
Five more days pass. Joe realizes that Poncho probably skipped out to the Burger King down the road,
so the two turtles weakly lift the lid, get a sandwich, and open their mouths to eat. But then, right at that instant, Poncho pops out behind a rock.
"Just for that, I'm not going."
----------
- Chahat
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- Chahat
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Why can't you be like that?
Jill tells her husband, "jack, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome. Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes homes, he brings her a dozen roses.
Now, why can't you do that?"
"Gosh," jack says. "Why i hardly know the girl."
----------
- Chahat
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Now, why can't you do that?"
"Gosh," jack says. "Why i hardly know the girl."
----------
- Chahat
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- Chahat
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I have "great" news for you
The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two."
Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes.
He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us."
----------
- Chahat
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Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes.
He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us."
----------
- Chahat
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Father of the nation
Sorry, if its is already posted, But it's very funny.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sometime after independence three great leaders of the country -
Mahatma Gandhi, Subhash Chandra, Lal Bahadur Shastri and Jawaharlal
Nehru went to heaven.
God asked Lal Bahadur Shastri how many children he had during his time
on earth. He replied saying he had three! Happy with the relatively
good family planning adopted, God gave Shastri a Mercedes!
Subhash Chandra Bose is asked the same question. When he replies he
had 10 children, God is a bit upset and gives him a cheaper car, the
Ford.
Jawaharlal is next and on replying that he had 15 children, God is
pretty angry and gives him an inexpensive Maruti.
Sometime later the three see Mahatma Gandhi returning on foot. They
ask why God hadnt given him anything. Gandhiji replied with anger,
"Some idiot told God that I was the father of the nation!"
----------
- Chahat
Read this funny joke Waiting for the teeth
http://www.JokesDuniya.com]
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sometime after independence three great leaders of the country -
Mahatma Gandhi, Subhash Chandra, Lal Bahadur Shastri and Jawaharlal
Nehru went to heaven.
God asked Lal Bahadur Shastri how many children he had during his time
on earth. He replied saying he had three! Happy with the relatively
good family planning adopted, God gave Shastri a Mercedes!
Subhash Chandra Bose is asked the same question. When he replies he
had 10 children, God is a bit upset and gives him a cheaper car, the
Ford.
Jawaharlal is next and on replying that he had 15 children, God is
pretty angry and gives him an inexpensive Maruti.
Sometime later the three see Mahatma Gandhi returning on foot. They
ask why God hadnt given him anything. Gandhiji replied with anger,
"Some idiot told God that I was the father of the nation!"
----------
- Chahat
Read this funny joke Waiting for the teeth
http://www.JokesDuniya.com]
- Chahat
- Registered User
- Posts: 471
- Joined: Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:10 pm
Trouble Family problems
Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation.
One of them kept complaining of family problems.
Finally, the other man said:
"You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation."
"A few years ago, I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter.
We got married and got myself a stepdaughter.
Later, my father married my stepdaughter.
That made my stepdaughter, my step-mother.
And my father became my stepson.
Also, my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law".
"Much later the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son.
This boy was my half-brother because he was my father's son.
But he was also the son of my wife's daughter which made him my wife's grand-son.
That made me the grand-father of my half-brother."
"This was nothing until my wife and I had a Baby. Now the half-sister of my son, my stepmother, is also the Grandmother.
This makes my father, the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my father's wife, I am my stepmother's brother-in-law, my wife is her own child's aunt, my son is my father's nephew and I am my OWN GRANDFATHER!"
"And you think you have FAMILY PROBLEMS!!!"
----------
- Chahat
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One of them kept complaining of family problems.
Finally, the other man said:
"You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation."
"A few years ago, I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter.
We got married and got myself a stepdaughter.
Later, my father married my stepdaughter.
That made my stepdaughter, my step-mother.
And my father became my stepson.
Also, my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law".
"Much later the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son.
This boy was my half-brother because he was my father's son.
But he was also the son of my wife's daughter which made him my wife's grand-son.
That made me the grand-father of my half-brother."
"This was nothing until my wife and I had a Baby. Now the half-sister of my son, my stepmother, is also the Grandmother.
This makes my father, the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my father's wife, I am my stepmother's brother-in-law, my wife is her own child's aunt, my son is my father's nephew and I am my OWN GRANDFATHER!"
"And you think you have FAMILY PROBLEMS!!!"
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- Chahat
Have fun with your friends by sending funny friendship sms:
http://www.SMSFunOnline.com
- Chahat
- Registered User
- Posts: 471
- Joined: Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:10 pm
Collection for the manager
Employees of a Software Company are all worried. Some are roaming around.
Some are in Loud discussions during office time.....
Some Trainees, who had just joined,notice this and enquire about what happened to a senior employee, They asks, "What's going on?"
"Terrorists have kidnapped our Project Manager.
They're asking for a Rs.500 Crores ransom, otherwise they're going to douse him with petrol and set him on fire.
We're going from desk to desk, taking up a collection."
One Trainee asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?
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"About a litre."
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- Chahat
A good collection of funny hindi sms:
http://www.SMSFunOnline.com
Some are in Loud discussions during office time.....
Some Trainees, who had just joined,notice this and enquire about what happened to a senior employee, They asks, "What's going on?"
"Terrorists have kidnapped our Project Manager.
They're asking for a Rs.500 Crores ransom, otherwise they're going to douse him with petrol and set him on fire.
We're going from desk to desk, taking up a collection."
One Trainee asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?
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"About a litre."
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- Chahat
A good collection of funny hindi sms:
http://www.SMSFunOnline.com
- Chahat
- Registered User
- Posts: 471
- Joined: Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:10 pm
Perfect husband for a wife
Several men are in the locker room of a golf
club.
A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk.
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello."
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$90,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price, I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing .....the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It is really a pretty good price."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.....
Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
----------
- Chahat
Very brave frog: Try until u die
http://www.JokesDuniya.com
club.
A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk.
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello."
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$90,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price, I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing .....the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It is really a pretty good price."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.....
Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
----------
- Chahat
Very brave frog: Try until u die
http://www.JokesDuniya.com
- Chahat
- Registered User
- Posts: 471
- Joined: Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:10 pm
If you speak truth women will not belive you.
A married man and his secretary are having an affair.
They decide to leave the office early and go to the secretary's appartment for an afternoon of ......., whatever its called.
They fall asleep and don't wake up till 8 PM later that night.
They quickly get dressed and the man asks the secretary to take his shoes and go and rub them in the grass.
The secretary thinks this is pretty weird, but she does it anyway.
The man finally gets home and his wife meets him at the door.
The wife's very upset and asks, "Where the hell have you been?"
The husband replies, "I was taught in school that truth is very painful, but it sets you free, so I will not tell a lie. My secretary and I are having an affair, we left work early today, went to her appartment, made love all afternoon, and then we fell asleep. That's why I'm late!!"
The wife looks at him, takes notice of his shoes and says, "I see those grass stains all over your shoes. You've been playing golf again, haven't you?"
----------
- Chahat
Looking for friendship sms? Click below:
http://www.SMSFunOnline.com
They decide to leave the office early and go to the secretary's appartment for an afternoon of ......., whatever its called.
They fall asleep and don't wake up till 8 PM later that night.
They quickly get dressed and the man asks the secretary to take his shoes and go and rub them in the grass.
The secretary thinks this is pretty weird, but she does it anyway.
The man finally gets home and his wife meets him at the door.
The wife's very upset and asks, "Where the hell have you been?"
The husband replies, "I was taught in school that truth is very painful, but it sets you free, so I will not tell a lie. My secretary and I are having an affair, we left work early today, went to her appartment, made love all afternoon, and then we fell asleep. That's why I'm late!!"
The wife looks at him, takes notice of his shoes and says, "I see those grass stains all over your shoes. You've been playing golf again, haven't you?"
----------
- Chahat
Looking for friendship sms? Click below:
http://www.SMSFunOnline.com
- Chahat
- Registered User
- Posts: 471
- Joined: Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:10 pm
English girl for the husband!
· A woman goes to england to attend a 2 week company training session.
Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answers: thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for
You?
The husband laughs and says: an english girl !!!
The woman kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "so, honey, how
Was the trip?"
"Very good, thank you "
"And, what happened to my present?"
"Which present?"
"What i asked for: the english girl?!"
"Oh, that! Well, i did what i could, now we have to wait a few months to see if its a girl !!"
----------
- Chahat
Email funny sms shayari to your friends:
http://www.SMSFunOnline.com
Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answers: thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for
You?
The husband laughs and says: an english girl !!!
The woman kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "so, honey, how
Was the trip?"
"Very good, thank you "
"And, what happened to my present?"
"Which present?"
"What i asked for: the english girl?!"
"Oh, that! Well, i did what i could, now we have to wait a few months to see if its a girl !!"
----------
- Chahat
Email funny sms shayari to your friends:
http://www.SMSFunOnline.com
- Chahat
- Registered User
- Posts: 471
- Joined: Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:10 pm
English girl for the husband!
A Frenchman, an Englishman and a Sardar were captured by cannibals.
The chief comes to them and says, "the bad news is that we caught you and we're going to kill you and eat you and then use your skin to build a canoe. But the good news is that you can choose how you want to die."
The Frenchman asks for a sword and runs himself through muttering his last words, "Vive la France!"
The Englishman asks for a gun and putting the gun to his head says, "God save the Queen!" and blows his brain out.
The Sardar asks for a fork.
The chief is puzzled but hands it to him anyway.
Taking the fork, the Sardar starts jabbing it all over -- the stomach, the chest, the sides and everywhere. There's blood gushing out all over, its horrible.
The chief is appalled even for a cannibal, he asks, "My God Almighty, what are you doing?"
Sardar replies, "So much for your CANOE!"
----------
- Chahat
Have you ever get into these: Family problem
http://www.JokesDuniya.com
The chief comes to them and says, "the bad news is that we caught you and we're going to kill you and eat you and then use your skin to build a canoe. But the good news is that you can choose how you want to die."
The Frenchman asks for a sword and runs himself through muttering his last words, "Vive la France!"
The Englishman asks for a gun and putting the gun to his head says, "God save the Queen!" and blows his brain out.
The Sardar asks for a fork.
The chief is puzzled but hands it to him anyway.
Taking the fork, the Sardar starts jabbing it all over -- the stomach, the chest, the sides and everywhere. There's blood gushing out all over, its horrible.
The chief is appalled even for a cannibal, he asks, "My God Almighty, what are you doing?"
Sardar replies, "So much for your CANOE!"
----------
- Chahat
Have you ever get into these: Family problem
http://www.JokesDuniya.com
- Chahat
- Registered User
- Posts: 471
- Joined: Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:10 pm
Naughtu Professor
An autopsy professor was giving an introductory lecture to a class of students. Standing over a corpse, he addressed the class. There are two things you need to make a career in medical forensics. First, you must have no fear. Having said that, he shoved his finger up the corpses anus and licked it. Now you must do the same, he told the class.
After a couple of minutes of uneasy silence, the class did as instructed.
Second, the professor continued, you must have an acute sense of observation. For instance, how many of you noticed that I put my middle finger up this mans anus, but licked my index finger!
----------
- Chahat
Check out these funny and rude sms
http://www.SMSFunOnline.com
After a couple of minutes of uneasy silence, the class did as instructed.
Second, the professor continued, you must have an acute sense of observation. For instance, how many of you noticed that I put my middle finger up this mans anus, but licked my index finger!
----------
- Chahat
Check out these funny and rude sms
http://www.SMSFunOnline.com
- Chahat
- Registered User
- Posts: 471
- Joined: Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:10 pm
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