You may be missing India, when you ......
....Re-wire all the lights in your house and insert a random selector.
....Start washing your clothes in the local river.
....Start commuting to work on the roof of the train.
....Start sucking aniseed so you can spit on the wall in the yard.
....Put a 'Horn OK' bumper sticker on your car and blast horn every 3 seconds.
....Re-wire the bathroom to leave all the cables exposed.
....Start peeing in your sink.
....Argue with the newsagent over the cost of your daily paper.
....Set the farmers cows free to roam the streets.
....Take your granny to a festival so you can lose her.
....Open a market stall to sell used false teeth.
Can anyone think of any more.
You may be missing India
Moderator: The Moderator Team
60 posts
• Page 1 of 3 • 1, 2, 3
Oh yeah another attempt by this guy to irritate us......
ok whats your point.....
ok whats your point.....
Nom de dieu de putain de bordel de merde de saloperie de connard d'enculé de ta mère.:Merovingian,TMR
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The Jackal - Level 1 Deity
- Posts: 6556
- Joined: Wed Apr 14, 2004 5:16 am
- Location: Lat 17° 22' 31N /Long 78° 28' 28E
In India
rearrange your bathroom so you can shower and use the loo at the same time.
---For those who have been to Udaipur, you come home and find yourself watching Octopussy over and over again.
---start wearing flip flops everywhere
---litter with reckless abandon
---when doing business with an Indian run establishment you immediately switch to giving money with the right hand
---when something is going wrong you say "why like this baba" and no one has any clue what your talking about
rearrange your bathroom so you can shower and use the loo at the same time.
---For those who have been to Udaipur, you come home and find yourself watching Octopussy over and over again.
---start wearing flip flops everywhere
---litter with reckless abandon
---when doing business with an Indian run establishment you immediately switch to giving money with the right hand
---when something is going wrong you say "why like this baba" and no one has any clue what your talking about
- Australian
- Registered User
you may be missing Australia when:
you are shocked that your sheepshagging is culturally unacceptable
you find racism is frowned upon
you start getting pis$ed off at your own whiny annoying accent
you travel 8000 miles to the other side of the world so that you can hire a flat, fill it full of other Australians, plaster it with Australian flags, drink Australian beer, b1tch constantly about the country you find yourself in, and only leave your flat to go to overpriced Australian themed bars with giant inflatible Kangaroos and Koalas to make you feel more at home while you sip shitty Australian beer from stupid looking Australian glasses and congratulate yourselves on how adventurous you are to be so far away from Australia.
you are shocked that your sheepshagging is culturally unacceptable
you find racism is frowned upon
you start getting pis$ed off at your own whiny annoying accent
you travel 8000 miles to the other side of the world so that you can hire a flat, fill it full of other Australians, plaster it with Australian flags, drink Australian beer, b1tch constantly about the country you find yourself in, and only leave your flat to go to overpriced Australian themed bars with giant inflatible Kangaroos and Koalas to make you feel more at home while you sip shitty Australian beer from stupid looking Australian glasses and congratulate yourselves on how adventurous you are to be so far away from Australia.
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mark - Level 2 Star User
- Posts: 1467
- Joined: Fri Jul 02, 2004 8:22 pm
Start cursing that there's no jug in the bathroom!!!
Begin smiling at perfect strangers in the street!!!
Buy a snack advertised as being "extra hot" then think you've been robbed!!!
When the nieghbours star complaining about the spicy aroma eminating from your flat!!!
Start slaloming and beeping your way through heavy traffic in your home town!!!
Buy a lighter and wonder why it does'nt have the extra "welder setting" like the Indian ones!!!
Find the bells on western bicycles a bit "wimpy"!!!
When you look at your wage slip and see how much tax you've PAID!!!
When you start feeling sorry for the cows locked up in those inhuman fields!!!
When you get dirty looks from the hometown beggers, when you hand them two Rupees!!!
When tea just doesn't cut it anymore!!!
When you make special arrangements to watch the Khans!!!
__________________
India : more acts of humanity per square mile than anywhere else on the globe!!!!
Begin smiling at perfect strangers in the street!!!
Buy a snack advertised as being "extra hot" then think you've been robbed!!!
When the nieghbours star complaining about the spicy aroma eminating from your flat!!!
Start slaloming and beeping your way through heavy traffic in your home town!!!
Buy a lighter and wonder why it does'nt have the extra "welder setting" like the Indian ones!!!
Find the bells on western bicycles a bit "wimpy"!!!
When you look at your wage slip and see how much tax you've PAID!!!
When you start feeling sorry for the cows locked up in those inhuman fields!!!
When you get dirty looks from the hometown beggers, when you hand them two Rupees!!!
When tea just doesn't cut it anymore!!!
When you make special arrangements to watch the Khans!!!
__________________
India : more acts of humanity per square mile than anywhere else on the globe!!!!
- Australian
- Registered User
Guys, are we supposed to blast this obnoxious person or just ignore him as being of no consequence whatsoever?
Or just hope he does the same with other countries and gets stoned, etc. as ycr said....
Suggest something guys, I am itching to blast him...
Or just hope he does the same with other countries and gets stoned, etc. as ycr said....
Suggest something guys, I am itching to blast him...
-
Betty - Level 1 Star User
- Posts: 580
- Joined: Mon Nov 22, 2004 1:41 pm
At McDonalds, you ask for McDosa.
* You roll down the window and ask for directions.
* Add garam masala to your Thanksgiving turkey.
* You inhale exhaust fumes and it feels good.
* You smile at strangers and ask "Wat is your good name, sir".
* At home, when you are alone, you eat with your hands.
* You roll down the window and ask for directions.
* Add garam masala to your Thanksgiving turkey.
* You inhale exhaust fumes and it feels good.
* You smile at strangers and ask "Wat is your good name, sir".
* At home, when you are alone, you eat with your hands.
- Australian
- Registered User
At home get an old smelly vest to clean the floor with and then use it to wipe the table and then flick it over your shoulder.
*Find an old bike tyre and run along the road pushing it with a stick.
*Grow your thumb nail really long and paint it with red varnish.
*Wear a lungi and old white vest while out in town.
*Find an old bike tyre and run along the road pushing it with a stick.
*Grow your thumb nail really long and paint it with red varnish.
*Wear a lungi and old white vest while out in town.
- Australian
- Registered User
~ U ask for a chai wallah in the train ur travelling...
~ U pack 3 tiffin stainless steel tiffins on a 3 hour journey to the local countryside..
~U take a day off and go the farm so that u can actally smell Cowdung..
~U stare at every white face u see.
~scrath ur balls in public ( hahah )
~Blow Hindi songs on your car speakers at 2 in the morning
~ U pack 3 tiffin stainless steel tiffins on a 3 hour journey to the local countryside..
~U take a day off and go the farm so that u can actally smell Cowdung..
~U stare at every white face u see.
~scrath ur balls in public ( hahah )
~Blow Hindi songs on your car speakers at 2 in the morning
- Australian
- Registered User
mark wrote:this guy is Indian. or has spent a lot of time here. either way if you have a sense of humour about 50% of what he's saying is pretty funny.
Point taken Mark...
Will go cool off and ignore this post till he has posted whatver he can...
He does seem to have lived in indian villages a lot....an NGO perhaps?
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Betty - Level 1 Star User
- Posts: 580
- Joined: Mon Nov 22, 2004 1:41 pm
--You buy cooking oil in barrels.
--Compare your car’s ‘milage’ with colleagues.
--Steal those small soaps and shampoos from hotel rooms.(it’s your guilty pleasure)
--Treat door-to-door salesmen like snakes.
--Buy kulfi after dinner only to the two kids and start ‘tasting’ from it.
--Your children do homework on your office stationary.
--Your address looks like (only for Hyderabad)
House No: 2-347-27/8 (old No: 3-447-62/10)
1st cross (behind old market road)
OK Nagar , 2nd stage
Hyderabad
--Compare your car’s ‘milage’ with colleagues.
--Steal those small soaps and shampoos from hotel rooms.(it’s your guilty pleasure)
--Treat door-to-door salesmen like snakes.
--Buy kulfi after dinner only to the two kids and start ‘tasting’ from it.
--Your children do homework on your office stationary.
--Your address looks like (only for Hyderabad)
House No: 2-347-27/8 (old No: 3-447-62/10)
1st cross (behind old market road)
OK Nagar , 2nd stage
Hyderabad
- Australian
- Registered User
You are Indian if...
1. Everything you eat is savored in garlic, onion and tomatoes.
2. You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil.
3. You try to eject food particles from between your teeth by pressing your tongue against them and making a peculiar noise like, tshick, tshick,tschick, tschick.
4. You are standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the Airport.
5. You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and think it's normal.
6. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to mark up.
7. You recycle Wedding Gifts.
8. You name your children in rhythms (example, Honey & Money, Sita & Gita,Ram & Shyam.)
9. All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere close to their real names.
10. You take Indian snacks anywhere it says "No Food Allowed"
11. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.
12. You load up the family car with as many people as possible.
13. You use plastic to cover anything new in your house whether it's the remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch.
14. Your parents tell you to not care what your friends think but they won't let you do certain things because of what the other "Uncles and Aunties" will think.
15. You buy and display crockery, which is for special occasions, which never happen.
16. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.
17. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
18. You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as possible.
19. Your kitchen shelf is full of jam jars, varieties of bowls and plastic utensils (got free with some household items).
20. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).
21. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.
22. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
23. You majored in engineering, medicine or law and now........are after Software and only Software no matter which field you belong to.
24. You live with your parents and you are 40 years old. (And they prefer it that way).
25. You don't use measuring cups when cooking.
26. You feel like you've gotten a good deal if you didn't pay tax.
27. You never learnt how to stand in a queue.
28. You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or receive you whether you are traveling by bus, train or plane.
29. If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose daughter has run with whose son and feel proud to spread it at the velocity of more than the speed of light.
30. You only make long distance calls after 11 p.m.
31. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.
32. You call an older person you never met before "uncle."
33. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you're talking to a distant cousin.
34. Your parents don't realise phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making foreign calls.
35. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them away from getting dirty.
36. When dining out, you think Rs 10 is enough of a tip.
37. It's embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people.
38. You list your daughter as "fair and slim" in the matrimonial no matter what she looks like.
39. You treat the NRI persons (especially from America) as if they are the only persons living in this world (including YOU).
40. You've seen the ground while inside the lavatory of a train.
41. All your tupperware is stained with food color.
42. You have drinking glasses made of steel.
43. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.
44. You have really enjoyed reading this mail.
__________________
1. Everything you eat is savored in garlic, onion and tomatoes.
2. You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil.
3. You try to eject food particles from between your teeth by pressing your tongue against them and making a peculiar noise like, tshick, tshick,tschick, tschick.
4. You are standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the Airport.
5. You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and think it's normal.
6. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to mark up.
7. You recycle Wedding Gifts.
8. You name your children in rhythms (example, Honey & Money, Sita & Gita,Ram & Shyam.)
9. All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere close to their real names.
10. You take Indian snacks anywhere it says "No Food Allowed"
11. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.
12. You load up the family car with as many people as possible.
13. You use plastic to cover anything new in your house whether it's the remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch.
14. Your parents tell you to not care what your friends think but they won't let you do certain things because of what the other "Uncles and Aunties" will think.
15. You buy and display crockery, which is for special occasions, which never happen.
16. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.
17. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
18. You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as possible.
19. Your kitchen shelf is full of jam jars, varieties of bowls and plastic utensils (got free with some household items).
20. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).
21. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.
22. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
23. You majored in engineering, medicine or law and now........are after Software and only Software no matter which field you belong to.
24. You live with your parents and you are 40 years old. (And they prefer it that way).
25. You don't use measuring cups when cooking.
26. You feel like you've gotten a good deal if you didn't pay tax.
27. You never learnt how to stand in a queue.
28. You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or receive you whether you are traveling by bus, train or plane.
29. If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose daughter has run with whose son and feel proud to spread it at the velocity of more than the speed of light.
30. You only make long distance calls after 11 p.m.
31. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.
32. You call an older person you never met before "uncle."
33. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you're talking to a distant cousin.
34. Your parents don't realise phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making foreign calls.
35. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them away from getting dirty.
36. When dining out, you think Rs 10 is enough of a tip.
37. It's embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people.
38. You list your daughter as "fair and slim" in the matrimonial no matter what she looks like.
39. You treat the NRI persons (especially from America) as if they are the only persons living in this world (including YOU).
40. You've seen the ground while inside the lavatory of a train.
41. All your tupperware is stained with food color.
42. You have drinking glasses made of steel.
43. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.
44. You have really enjoyed reading this mail.
__________________
- Australian
- Registered User
All these abovementioned things are done not only by indians but by many people all around the world.But maybe Our Friend here Does'nt Know that since he Jus' Escaped from the Papua New Guinea Cannibal Reserve and MAnkind as a whole is Jus' too new for him 
-
ycr007 - Level 2 Deity
- Posts: 9334
- Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 10:50 pm
- Location: Hyderabad!!! Browser:Firefox
60 posts
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