The bottomline for anything would be this - E N J O Y and if possible, let's all try to become a li'l wiser
Interesting Things Online
Moderator: The Moderator Team
39 posts
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Interesting Things Online
An attempt to bring all the interesting stuff that we come across online at one place - this may include funny mails, trivia, amazing and strange facts, etc.
The bottomline for anything would be this - E N J O Y and if possible, let's all try to become a li'l wiser
The bottomline for anything would be this - E N J O Y and if possible, let's all try to become a li'l wiser
ek minut....
-
Just Another Human - Level 2 Star User
- Posts: 1104
- Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 11:11 pm
- Location: I have to admit Planet Earth
People are crazy, at times are strange. I am locked-in tight, I am out of range.
I used to care, but things have changed.
I used to care, but things have changed.
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akhilis2cool - God!
- Posts: 11476
- Joined: Sat Apr 03, 2004 1:43 pm
- Location: Camp Swampy
The New Priest
The New Priest
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervious I take a sip." So the next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass he found the following note on his door.
1) Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior, and Spook.
8 ) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9) When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10) We do not refer to the cross as the Big T!
11) When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it, for it is my body", he did not say, "Eat me."
12) The Virgin Mary is not reffered to as the, "Mary with the Cherry".
13) The recommended grace before a meal is not: "Rub-A-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, yeah God"
14) Next Sunday there will be a taffy-pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter-pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
take it easy guys..
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervious I take a sip." So the next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass he found the following note on his door.
1) Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior, and Spook.
8 ) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9) When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10) We do not refer to the cross as the Big T!
11) When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it, for it is my body", he did not say, "Eat me."
12) The Virgin Mary is not reffered to as the, "Mary with the Cherry".
13) The recommended grace before a meal is not: "Rub-A-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, yeah God"
14) Next Sunday there will be a taffy-pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter-pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
take it easy guys..
ek minut....
-
Just Another Human - Level 2 Star User
- Posts: 1104
- Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 11:11 pm
- Location: I have to admit Planet Earth
Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often, Bob takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping
coffee breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob should
be promoted to executive management, and a proposal will
be executed as soon as possible.
Regards,
Project Leader
KEEP READING
Shortly thereafter, the HR department received the following
further memo from the Project Leader:
Sorry, but that idiot was reading over my shoulder while I wrote
the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd
numbered lines for my assessment.
Regards,
Project Leader
hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often, Bob takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping
coffee breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob should
be promoted to executive management, and a proposal will
be executed as soon as possible.
Regards,
Project Leader
KEEP READING
Shortly thereafter, the HR department received the following
further memo from the Project Leader:
Sorry, but that idiot was reading over my shoulder while I wrote
the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd
numbered lines for my assessment.
Regards,
Project Leader
-
vivek - Level 1 Star User
- Posts: 717
- Joined: Sat Jul 12, 2003 12:05 pm
- Location: India
The Boss
THE BOSS
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.
the brain said, "since I control everything and do all the thinking, I
should be Boss."
The feet said, "since I do carry man where he wants to go and get him in
position to do what the brain wants, I should be the Boss."
The hand said, "since I must do all the work and earn all the money to keep
the rest going, I must should be Boss."
The eyes said, "since I must look out for all of you and tell you where tell
you where danger lurks, I should be Boss."
And so it went with the heart, the ears, the lungs, and finally the
_ spoke up and demanded it be Boss. All the other parts laughed at
the idea of an _ being Boss.
The _ was so angered that he blocked himself off and refused to
function. Soon the brain was feverish, the eyes crossed and ached, the feet
were to weak to walk, the hands hung limply at the sides, the heart and
lungs struggled to keep going.
All pleaded with the brain to let the _ to be Boss, and so it happened.
All the other parts did all the work and the _ just bossed and passed
out a lot of shit.
THE MORAL:
You don't have to be a brain to be a Boss, just an _!
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.
the brain said, "since I control everything and do all the thinking, I
should be Boss."
The feet said, "since I do carry man where he wants to go and get him in
position to do what the brain wants, I should be the Boss."
The hand said, "since I must do all the work and earn all the money to keep
the rest going, I must should be Boss."
The eyes said, "since I must look out for all of you and tell you where tell
you where danger lurks, I should be Boss."
And so it went with the heart, the ears, the lungs, and finally the
_ spoke up and demanded it be Boss. All the other parts laughed at
the idea of an _ being Boss.
The _ was so angered that he blocked himself off and refused to
function. Soon the brain was feverish, the eyes crossed and ached, the feet
were to weak to walk, the hands hung limply at the sides, the heart and
lungs struggled to keep going.
All pleaded with the brain to let the _ to be Boss, and so it happened.
All the other parts did all the work and the _ just bossed and passed
out a lot of shit.
THE MORAL:
You don't have to be a brain to be a Boss, just an _!
ek minut....
-
Just Another Human - Level 2 Star User
- Posts: 1104
- Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 11:11 pm
- Location: I have to admit Planet Earth
At the Restaurant
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him, and
as he sits down, the waitress comes over and asks for their order. The
man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the
ostrich. "What's yours?"
"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be
$12.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exact
change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says,
"I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and the ostrich says, "I'll
have the same." Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays
with exact change.
This becomes a routine until late one evening, the two enter again.
"The usual?" asks the waitress.
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and
salad," says the man.
"Same for me," says the ostrich.
At the end of the meal the waitress comes with the bill and says, "That
will be $22.62." Once again the man pulls exact change out of his
pocket and places it on the table. The waitress can't hold back her
curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come
up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I
found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two
wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, just
put my hand in my pocket, and the right amount of money would always be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a
million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want
for as long as you live!"
"That's right! Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the
exact money is always there," says the man.
The waitress asks, "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich?"
The man sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall
chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say." ;-k
as he sits down, the waitress comes over and asks for their order. The
man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the
ostrich. "What's yours?"
"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be
$12.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exact
change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says,
"I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and the ostrich says, "I'll
have the same." Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays
with exact change.
This becomes a routine until late one evening, the two enter again.
"The usual?" asks the waitress.
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and
salad," says the man.
"Same for me," says the ostrich.
At the end of the meal the waitress comes with the bill and says, "That
will be $22.62." Once again the man pulls exact change out of his
pocket and places it on the table. The waitress can't hold back her
curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come
up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I
found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two
wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, just
put my hand in my pocket, and the right amount of money would always be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a
million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want
for as long as you live!"
"That's right! Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the
exact money is always there," says the man.
The waitress asks, "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich?"
The man sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall
chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say." ;-k
ek minut....
-
Just Another Human - Level 2 Star User
- Posts: 1104
- Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 11:11 pm
- Location: I have to admit Planet Earth
This one had me in splits.
Things are supposed to happen the way they happen. And the reason they happen the way the happen is because you try to make them happen in a certain way and may or may not be succesful.
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The Scorpion's Sting - Level 1 Deity
- Posts: 6111
- Joined: Wed Feb 04, 2004 12:42 pm
- Location: L0ST !N $PACE
the evolution of Metallica and Megadeth, in smiley format.
Metallica 1982-2004:
> 
> 
> 
> 
Megadeth 1984-2004:
Metallica 1982-2004:
> > > > Megadeth 1984-2004:
Things are supposed to happen the way they happen. And the reason they happen the way the happen is because you try to make them happen in a certain way and may or may not be succesful.
-
The Scorpion's Sting - Level 1 Deity
- Posts: 6111
- Joined: Wed Feb 04, 2004 12:42 pm
- Location: L0ST !N $PACE
-
54Li5|-| 60|)4 - Registered User
- Posts: 432
- Joined: Tue Nov 23, 2004 1:39 pm
- Location: Hyderabad
funny image
a funny image i found through a slashdot post
Murphy's Law
Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant
Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant
-
satishgoda - Registered User
- Posts: 432
- Joined: Tue Nov 23, 2004 1:39 pm
- Location: Hyderabad
Bihar Driving License
PLEASE FIND THE APPLICATION FORM FOR BIHAR DRIVING LICENSE
Bihar Driving License...
=======================
DRIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM
------------------------------------------------------
NOTE: Please do not soot the person at the applikason kounter. He will give you the licen.
For phurthar instructions, see bottom applikason.
1. Last name:
(_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Pandey (_) Misra (_) Dont no
(Check karet box)
2. First name:
(_) Ramprasad (_) Lakhan (_) Sivprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_) Other
(Check karet box)
3. Age:
(_) Less than phipty (_) Greater than phipty (_) Dont no
(Check karet box)
4. Sex: ____ M _____ P(F) _____ not sure _____not applicable
5. Chappal Size: ____ Lepht ____ Right
6. Occupason:
(_) Politison (_) Doodhwala (_) Pehelwaan (_) House wife (_) Un-employed
(Check karet box)
7. Number of children libing in the household: ___
8. Number that are yours: ___
9. Mather name: _____________ __________
10. Phather Name: ____________________ (If not no,leave blank)
11. Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
12. Dental rekard:
(_) Ellow (_) Berownish-ellow (_) Berown (_) Belack (_) Other
__________ Give egjhakt color
(Check karet box)
13.Your thumb imparesson :
____________________________
(If you are copying from another applikason pharom, please do not copy thumb impression also. Please provide your own thumb impression.)
PELEASE DO NOT USE PHINGERS OF YOUR LEGS
Use thumb on your lepht hand only. If you dont have lepht hand, use your thumb on right hand. If you do not have right hand, use thumb on lepht hand.
NOTE : IF YOU DONT HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DRIVE.
WE ARE VARY ISTRICT ABOUT THIS
Bihar Driving License...
=======================
DRIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM
------------------------------------------------------
NOTE: Please do not soot the person at the applikason kounter. He will give you the licen.
For phurthar instructions, see bottom applikason.
1. Last name:
(_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Pandey (_) Misra (_) Dont no
(Check karet box)
2. First name:
(_) Ramprasad (_) Lakhan (_) Sivprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_) Other
(Check karet box)
3. Age:
(_) Less than phipty (_) Greater than phipty (_) Dont no
(Check karet box)
4. Sex: ____ M _____ P(F) _____ not sure _____not applicable
5. Chappal Size: ____ Lepht ____ Right
6. Occupason:
(_) Politison (_) Doodhwala (_) Pehelwaan (_) House wife (_) Un-employed
(Check karet box)
7. Number of children libing in the household: ___
8. Number that are yours: ___
9. Mather name: _____________ __________
10. Phather Name: ____________________ (If not no,leave blank)
11. Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
12. Dental rekard:
(_) Ellow (_) Berownish-ellow (_) Berown (_) Belack (_) Other
__________ Give egjhakt color
(Check karet box)
13.Your thumb imparesson :
____________________________
(If you are copying from another applikason pharom, please do not copy thumb impression also. Please provide your own thumb impression.)
PELEASE DO NOT USE PHINGERS OF YOUR LEGS
Use thumb on your lepht hand only. If you dont have lepht hand, use your thumb on right hand. If you do not have right hand, use thumb on lepht hand.
NOTE : IF YOU DONT HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DRIVE.
WE ARE VARY ISTRICT ABOUT THIS
ek minut....
-
Just Another Human - Level 2 Star User
- Posts: 1104
- Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 11:11 pm
- Location: I have to admit Planet Earth
God's VoiceMail
We have all learned to live with "voice mail" as a necessary part of modern life. But have you wondered, what if God decided to install voice mail?"
Imagine praying and hearing this:
"Thank you for calling My Father's House. Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for Requests
Press 2 for Thanksgiving
Press 3 for Complaints
Press 4 for All Other Inquiries.
I'm sorry, all of our angels are busy helping other sinners right now.
However, your prayer is important to us and will be answered in the order it was received, so please stay on the line.
If you would like to speak to:
God, Press 1
For Jesus, Press 2
For the Holy Spirit, Press 3
If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while holding please press 4.
To find out if a loved one has been assigned to Heaven, Press 5, enter his or her Social Security number, then press the pound key. (If you get a negative response, try area code 666.)
For reservations at "My Father's House" please enter J-O-H-N followed by 3-1-6. For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth and where Noah's Ark is, please wait until you arrive here.
Our computers show that you have already prayed once today. Please hang up and try again tomorrow. This office is closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday. Please pray again on Monday after 9:30 AM. If you need emergency assistance when this office is closed, contact your local pastor."
Imagine praying and hearing this:
"Thank you for calling My Father's House. Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for Requests
Press 2 for Thanksgiving
Press 3 for Complaints
Press 4 for All Other Inquiries.
I'm sorry, all of our angels are busy helping other sinners right now.
However, your prayer is important to us and will be answered in the order it was received, so please stay on the line.
If you would like to speak to:
God, Press 1
For Jesus, Press 2
For the Holy Spirit, Press 3
If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while holding please press 4.
To find out if a loved one has been assigned to Heaven, Press 5, enter his or her Social Security number, then press the pound key. (If you get a negative response, try area code 666.)
For reservations at "My Father's House" please enter J-O-H-N followed by 3-1-6. For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth and where Noah's Ark is, please wait until you arrive here.
Our computers show that you have already prayed once today. Please hang up and try again tomorrow. This office is closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday. Please pray again on Monday after 9:30 AM. If you need emergency assistance when this office is closed, contact your local pastor."
ek minut....
-
Just Another Human - Level 2 Star User
- Posts: 1104
- Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 11:11 pm
- Location: I have to admit Planet Earth
Indian Viruses
The following is the list of some new viruses going round in India.
Better beware of them.
P.V. Narasimha Rao Virus: First of all, this virus reduces the CPU speed to 66Hz. Before executing any instruction, it deliberates over it a number of times and finally does nothing.
V.P. Singh Virus: This virus reserves a quota for each instruction, and executes them only according to the quota. Needless to say, the least used instructions have a higher quota than the more used instructions. This virus is also known as social justice virus.
Sukh Ram Virus: This virus first swallows 10% of the bits in each instruction and then executes them.
Maneka Gandhi Virus: This is a green virus. It executes only those programmes that were written by vegetarians or animals.
L.K. Advani Virus: This virus pops up every now and then, and the only way you can continue working is by typing Jai Shri Ram 108 times.
K.P.S. Gill Virus: Only ladies need to worry about this virus.Every now and then the users get a whack, you know where.
Phoolan Devi Virus: This virus hijacks all high priority processes and generates page faults for them. At times, this virus may also celebrate the CPU's birthday.
Deve Gowda Virus: The main characterestic of this virus is that it tries to schedule all the processes at the same time. This virus services all the requests for resources,and allocates them irrespective of whether they are available or not.
Jayalalitha Virus: This actually is a family of viruses. Each member of this virus family grab as much of hard disk space as possible,while the main virus is totally unaware of it. When everything stops working,this virus blames the user for the whole chaos.
I.K.Gujral Virus: Before executing any instruction, this virus calls tries to get the approval of 18 other viruses and most of the time, one of the viruses blocks the instruction. So Gujral virus most of the time does not execute anything. While it is not doing anything, as it is always, this virus connects to the Internet and keeps sending data to all major/minor countries in the World except India w/o receiving the replies.
Veerappan virus: This virus plays hide and seek. it captures some resources and releases them after sometime. it sometimes seems to be eradicated but suddenly reappears.
Laloo Yadav virus: A dangerous virus, gulps all the resources as well as it corrupts the data. If you try to use scanner, During hibernation,it will rename its signature with another deadly virus of the same family. This virus takes help from other viruses to avoid scanning.
Mulayam Virus: Whatever way, it will try to grab resources of the system, it's only task is to abort BJP processes. this virus hangs the system by sending conflicting signals to different hardware units.
Sonia Gandhi Virus: Once a part of most deadly virus family of the world. No scanner can detect now, how much damage it can cause to the system, but people use Bofors scanner for temporary protection.
Kashi-Maya Virus: It's also called the Dalit virus, it destabilizes the co-ordination amongst different resources, It controls & steps the low priority resources from functioning. Lot of scanners available now to kill it. Other viruses are thriving by splitting this virus.
Better beware of them.
P.V. Narasimha Rao Virus: First of all, this virus reduces the CPU speed to 66Hz. Before executing any instruction, it deliberates over it a number of times and finally does nothing.
V.P. Singh Virus: This virus reserves a quota for each instruction, and executes them only according to the quota. Needless to say, the least used instructions have a higher quota than the more used instructions. This virus is also known as social justice virus.
Sukh Ram Virus: This virus first swallows 10% of the bits in each instruction and then executes them.
Maneka Gandhi Virus: This is a green virus. It executes only those programmes that were written by vegetarians or animals.
L.K. Advani Virus: This virus pops up every now and then, and the only way you can continue working is by typing Jai Shri Ram 108 times.
K.P.S. Gill Virus: Only ladies need to worry about this virus.Every now and then the users get a whack, you know where.
Phoolan Devi Virus: This virus hijacks all high priority processes and generates page faults for them. At times, this virus may also celebrate the CPU's birthday.
Deve Gowda Virus: The main characterestic of this virus is that it tries to schedule all the processes at the same time. This virus services all the requests for resources,and allocates them irrespective of whether they are available or not.
Jayalalitha Virus: This actually is a family of viruses. Each member of this virus family grab as much of hard disk space as possible,while the main virus is totally unaware of it. When everything stops working,this virus blames the user for the whole chaos.
I.K.Gujral Virus: Before executing any instruction, this virus calls tries to get the approval of 18 other viruses and most of the time, one of the viruses blocks the instruction. So Gujral virus most of the time does not execute anything. While it is not doing anything, as it is always, this virus connects to the Internet and keeps sending data to all major/minor countries in the World except India w/o receiving the replies.
Veerappan virus: This virus plays hide and seek. it captures some resources and releases them after sometime. it sometimes seems to be eradicated but suddenly reappears.
Laloo Yadav virus: A dangerous virus, gulps all the resources as well as it corrupts the data. If you try to use scanner, During hibernation,it will rename its signature with another deadly virus of the same family. This virus takes help from other viruses to avoid scanning.
Mulayam Virus: Whatever way, it will try to grab resources of the system, it's only task is to abort BJP processes. this virus hangs the system by sending conflicting signals to different hardware units.
Sonia Gandhi Virus: Once a part of most deadly virus family of the world. No scanner can detect now, how much damage it can cause to the system, but people use Bofors scanner for temporary protection.
Kashi-Maya Virus: It's also called the Dalit virus, it destabilizes the co-ordination amongst different resources, It controls & steps the low priority resources from functioning. Lot of scanners available now to kill it. Other viruses are thriving by splitting this virus.
ek minut....
-
Just Another Human - Level 2 Star User
- Posts: 1104
- Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 11:11 pm
- Location: I have to admit Planet Earth
Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani
Coke peete, Pepsi peete,
bhool gaye nimbu paani
Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani
MTV, Channel V cool hain
bhool gaye Akashwani
Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani
Reserve Bank hain Khali
Khali Swiss Bank mein maal paani
Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani
Ideas hain naye naye
Problem wohi purani
Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani
Hong Kong main honeymoon,
New York main meri naani
Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani
Kapde hain Amreeki
Gaadiyan hain Japani
Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani
Paanch saal mein chaar government
dekhi, suni na jaani
Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani
....Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani
....Phir Bhi Dil Hai HIndustani
bhool gaye nimbu paani
Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani
MTV, Channel V cool hain
bhool gaye Akashwani
Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani
Reserve Bank hain Khali
Khali Swiss Bank mein maal paani
Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani
Ideas hain naye naye
Problem wohi purani
Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani
Hong Kong main honeymoon,
New York main meri naani
Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani
Kapde hain Amreeki
Gaadiyan hain Japani
Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani
Paanch saal mein chaar government
dekhi, suni na jaani
Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani
....Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani
....Phir Bhi Dil Hai HIndustani
ek minut....
-
Just Another Human - Level 2 Star User
- Posts: 1104
- Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 11:11 pm
- Location: I have to admit Planet Earth
Indian mythological characters vis-a-vis IT
Brahma: Systems Installation
Vishnu: Systems Support
Lakshmi: Finance and Accounts consultant(SAP)
Shiva: DBA (crash specialist)
Ganesh: Documentation specialist
Narada: Data Transfer
Brihaspathi: Chief Information Officer
Yama: Reorganisation Consultant
Chitragupta: Personnel Records
Apsaras: Downloadable Viruses
Devas: Y2k Programmers
Surya: Solaris administrator
Rakshasas: Inhouse Hackers
Ram: Hardware Support - single user specialist
Lakshman: Support software and Back up
Ravan: Explorer - WWW
Hanuman: RS6000
Bali: Windows 98
Sugreeva: Win 95
Angad: Win 3.I
Jambuvan: DOS
Vishwamitra: Sr.Manager Projects
Hastinapur: Microsoft
Krishna: Unix O/s no bugs please
Arjun: Lead Programmer
Draupadi: Web server - free access
Bhima: Mainframe
Duryodhana: Microsoft product
Shakuni: Bill Gates
Karna: Shareware - download
Vishnu: Systems Support
Lakshmi: Finance and Accounts consultant(SAP)
Shiva: DBA (crash specialist)
Ganesh: Documentation specialist
Narada: Data Transfer
Brihaspathi: Chief Information Officer
Yama: Reorganisation Consultant
Chitragupta: Personnel Records
Apsaras: Downloadable Viruses
Devas: Y2k Programmers
Surya: Solaris administrator
Rakshasas: Inhouse Hackers
Ram: Hardware Support - single user specialist
Lakshman: Support software and Back up
Ravan: Explorer - WWW
Hanuman: RS6000
Bali: Windows 98
Sugreeva: Win 95
Angad: Win 3.I
Jambuvan: DOS
Vishwamitra: Sr.Manager Projects
Hastinapur: Microsoft
Krishna: Unix O/s no bugs please
Arjun: Lead Programmer
Draupadi: Web server - free access
Bhima: Mainframe
Duryodhana: Microsoft product
Shakuni: Bill Gates
Karna: Shareware - download
ek minut....
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Just Another Human - Level 2 Star User
- Posts: 1104
- Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 11:11 pm
- Location: I have to admit Planet Earth
Salesman
Ek bar ek showroom mein salesman ke liye interview ho rahe the. Ek ladka bhi interview dene ayaa. Is ladke ko angrezi nahin aati thi, to usko manager ne reject kar diya. Ladke ne manager se kaha, aapko sale se matlab hona chahiye angrezi se kya? Aap mujhe ek bar chance dein, agar sale badh gaya to salary dena nahi to hata dena.
Manager ko baat pasand aayi. Ladke ko Naukari par rakh liya gaya. Doosare din se hi sale dugani, teesare din tiguni aur daily sale badne lagi. Showroom ke malik ko pata laga, usne manager se kaha, is naye ladke se mujhe milna hai.
Malik showroom par aaya, usne dekha ladka ek customer ko fishing-rod bech raha tha. Woh door khada ho kar hi usko customer se deal karte dekhne lagaa. Ladke ne fishing-rod bech di. customer ne kaha kitne rupaye, ladka bola Rs.800/-. Yeh kahkar ladke ne customer ke shoes dekhe aur bola, itne mehange shoes pahankar fishing karne jayenge? Ek sport shoe bhi kharid lijiye, customer ne sport shoes bhi kharid liye. Ab ladke ne kaha talaab kinare dhoop mein baithna padega, ek cap bhi kharid lijiye to theek rehega, customer ne cap bhi kharid li. Ab ladke ne kaha, machli pakadne mein bahut intezar karna padega, kuchch eatables, wafer, biscuits, bhi le jayiye, customer ne woh bhi kharid liye. Ladka bola machli pakdenge to rakhenge kahan ? Yeh ek Rs.100/- ki basket bhi le lijiye, customer ne woh bhi kharid li. Ab total bill bana Rs.2000/- ka.
Malik bahut khush hua. Usne ladke ko bulaya aur kaha, tum to kamal ke salesman ho. Woh aadmi fishing rod kharidane ayaa tha aur tumane usey itna sara samaan bech diya, very good. Ladka bola, woh aadmi to "Carefree Sanitary Pack" khridane ayaa tha, maine kaha, char din tu ghar par kya karega, Machli pakad.
Manager ko baat pasand aayi. Ladke ko Naukari par rakh liya gaya. Doosare din se hi sale dugani, teesare din tiguni aur daily sale badne lagi. Showroom ke malik ko pata laga, usne manager se kaha, is naye ladke se mujhe milna hai.
Malik showroom par aaya, usne dekha ladka ek customer ko fishing-rod bech raha tha. Woh door khada ho kar hi usko customer se deal karte dekhne lagaa. Ladke ne fishing-rod bech di. customer ne kaha kitne rupaye, ladka bola Rs.800/-. Yeh kahkar ladke ne customer ke shoes dekhe aur bola, itne mehange shoes pahankar fishing karne jayenge? Ek sport shoe bhi kharid lijiye, customer ne sport shoes bhi kharid liye. Ab ladke ne kaha talaab kinare dhoop mein baithna padega, ek cap bhi kharid lijiye to theek rehega, customer ne cap bhi kharid li. Ab ladke ne kaha, machli pakadne mein bahut intezar karna padega, kuchch eatables, wafer, biscuits, bhi le jayiye, customer ne woh bhi kharid liye. Ladka bola machli pakdenge to rakhenge kahan ? Yeh ek Rs.100/- ki basket bhi le lijiye, customer ne woh bhi kharid li. Ab total bill bana Rs.2000/- ka.
Malik bahut khush hua. Usne ladke ko bulaya aur kaha, tum to kamal ke salesman ho. Woh aadmi fishing rod kharidane ayaa tha aur tumane usey itna sara samaan bech diya, very good. Ladka bola, woh aadmi to "Carefree Sanitary Pack" khridane ayaa tha, maine kaha, char din tu ghar par kya karega, Machli pakad.
ek minut....
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Just Another Human - Level 2 Star User
- Posts: 1104
- Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 11:11 pm
- Location: I have to admit Planet Earth
God's VoiceMail
We have all learned to live with "voice mail" as a necessary part of modern life. But have you wondered, what if God decided to install voice mail?"
Imagine praying and hearing this:
"Thank you for calling My Father's House. Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for Requests
Press 2 for Thanksgiving
Press 3 for Complaints
Press 4 for All Other Inquiries.
I'm sorry, all of our angels are busy helping other sinners right now.
However, your prayer is important to us and will be answered in the order it was received, so please stay on the line.
If you would like to speak to:
God, Press 1
For Jesus, Press 2
For the Holy Spirit, Press 3
If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while holding please press 4.
To find out if a loved one has been assigned to Heaven, Press 5, enter his or her Social Security number, then press the pound key. (If you get a negative response, try area code 666.)
For reservations at "My Father's House" please enter J-O-H-N followed by 3-1-6. For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth and where Noah's Ark is, please wait until you arrive here.
Our computers show that you have already prayed once today. Please hang up and try again tomorrow. This office is closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday. Please pray again on Monday after 9:30 AM. If you need emergency assistance when this office is closed, contact your local pastor."
We have all learned to live with "voice mail" as a necessary part of modern life. But have you wondered, what if God decided to install voice mail?"
Imagine praying and hearing this:
"Thank you for calling My Father's House. Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for Requests
Press 2 for Thanksgiving
Press 3 for Complaints
Press 4 for All Other Inquiries.
I'm sorry, all of our angels are busy helping other sinners right now.
However, your prayer is important to us and will be answered in the order it was received, so please stay on the line.
If you would like to speak to:
God, Press 1
For Jesus, Press 2
For the Holy Spirit, Press 3
If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while holding please press 4.
To find out if a loved one has been assigned to Heaven, Press 5, enter his or her Social Security number, then press the pound key. (If you get a negative response, try area code 666.)
For reservations at "My Father's House" please enter J-O-H-N followed by 3-1-6. For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth and where Noah's Ark is, please wait until you arrive here.
Our computers show that you have already prayed once today. Please hang up and try again tomorrow. This office is closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday. Please pray again on Monday after 9:30 AM. If you need emergency assistance when this office is closed, contact your local pastor."
ek minut....
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Just Another Human - Level 2 Star User
- Posts: 1104
- Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 11:11 pm
- Location: I have to admit Planet Earth
Bumper Stickers for Women
1. SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.
2. GOD MADE US SISTERS, PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.
3. IF THEY DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN'T GOING.
4. MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS.
5. PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES, SEEKS FROG.
6. COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN ... SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.
7. DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN
8. IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.
9. DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF.
10. I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN - AND I HAVE A GUN.
11. GUYS HAVE FEELINGS TOO. BUT LIKE...WHO CARES?
12. NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES
13. AND YOUR POINT IS?
14. WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.
15. OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.
16. DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN.
17. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP.
18. ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.
19. I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.
20. HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?
21. SORRY IF I LOOKED INTERESTED. I'M NOT.
22. IF WE ARE WHAT WE EAT, I'M FAST, CHEAP AND EASY.
23. DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.
1. SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.
2. GOD MADE US SISTERS, PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.
3. IF THEY DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN'T GOING.
4. MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS.
5. PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES, SEEKS FROG.
6. COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN ... SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.
7. DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN
8. IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.
9. DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF.
10. I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN - AND I HAVE A GUN.
11. GUYS HAVE FEELINGS TOO. BUT LIKE...WHO CARES?
12. NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES
13. AND YOUR POINT IS?
14. WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.
15. OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.
16. DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN.
17. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP.
18. ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.
19. I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.
20. HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?
21. SORRY IF I LOOKED INTERESTED. I'M NOT.
22. IF WE ARE WHAT WE EAT, I'M FAST, CHEAP AND EASY.
23. DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.
ek minut....
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Just Another Human - Level 2 Star User
- Posts: 1104
- Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 11:11 pm
- Location: I have to admit Planet Earth
Tech Support Hell
This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the HelpDesk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for
"Termination without Cause."
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee
(now I know why they record these conversations)!
"Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cordgoes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
"Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No"
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
"Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes -the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power failure."
"A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too damn stupid to own a Computer" ;-k
This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the HelpDesk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for
"Termination without Cause."
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee
(now I know why they record these conversations)!
"Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cordgoes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
"Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No"
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
"Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes -the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power failure."
"A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too damn stupid to own a Computer" ;-k
ek minut....
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Just Another Human - Level 2 Star User
- Posts: 1104
- Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 11:11 pm
- Location: I have to admit Planet Earth
EAT MEAT SAVE VEGETATION
Don't expect to learn about people from books; a person can't fit in a bookcase
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salamehyderabad - Level 1 Star User
- Posts: 654
- Joined: Thu Aug 26, 2004 2:02 am
-
Just Another Human - Level 2 Star User
- Posts: 1104
- Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 11:11 pm
- Location: I have to admit Planet Earth
Re: Interesting Things Online
Just Another Human wrote:An attempt to bring all the interesting stuff that we come across online at one place - this may include funny mails, trivia, amazing and strange facts, etc.
The bottomline for anything would be this - E N J O Y and if possible, let's all try to become a li'l wiser
I think the most interesting thing online is PORN, followed by chat rooms and then the rest like information, knowledge, news blah blah blah.
May the Fries be with you!
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Mayavi Morpheus - Level 2 Lord
- Posts: 3201
- Joined: Fri May 30, 2003 7:42 am
- Location: 30° 27' North ; 91° 08' West
WHY ASK WHY
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, wh can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why do noses run and feet smell?
Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?
How is it that a building burns up as it burns down?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
When will a building actually become built?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, wh can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why do noses run and feet smell?
Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?
How is it that a building burns up as it burns down?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
When will a building actually become built?
ek minut....
-
Just Another Human - Level 2 Star User
- Posts: 1104
- Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 11:11 pm
- Location: I have to admit Planet Earth
Vijaykanth - Captain Planet
Following Ramana's great Success , South Indian star actor Vijaykanth's next movie will also be a Blockbuster... Here is the story ofVijaykant's next movie...
The Story
It's named as "Captain of the Planet".
Vijaykant is a scientist in NASA.. (A very big set designed for this by Dhaanu). When He was busy launching a satellite to Pluto, his wife simran is about to deliver a baby and she wanted him to be there with her. But the launch process badly needs a person like our hero, and there is no other option. Senior scientist Radha Ravi asks him to stay back till it gets launched.
Our well commited hero successfully launches the satellite, comes back in a horse to home, but by the time he comes, his wife is dead.
Meanwhile, a few other scientists in NASA claim that they did the job of launching a satellite to Pluto and Vijaykant is nowhere concerned with the launch. This makes Vijaykanth feel terribly disappointed and he resigns from NASA and comes back to india with his family, leading a peaceful life..
During the course of time, One day, the scientists, to their surprise find that the SUN is moving towards the EARTH slowly and if it continues for sometime, it may BURN the earth to ashes.. All the scientists rack their brains on 'how to save the EARTH'.. Then they realize that the only person capable of doing it is "THE HERO" (Vijaykanth) .
They visit India, telling him the fact, and Vijaykant joins back to complete the mission of saving the EARTH... After a very big research, Vijaykant invents an instrument. The instrument will deflect the SUN from its path to EARTH when placed to the SUN in a specific angle from some distance .
All the scientists are very happy and appreciate vijaykanth. So finally Vijaykant is all set to go into the SPACE and save the earth.
Now, He and the other person (Chandra sekhar, Who is a prisoner in Vellore, has been choosen by our hero because none other in the US can do that job) are travelling in a spacecraft towards the SUN. They move out of earth's orbit and once in space, they reach a point from where they can use that instrument and make the SUN move away from earth. Vijaykant comes out of the spacecraft and stands on the Wings of the spacecraft.
He takes out the instrument and shows it to the SUN. OH!!!!!!!! The instrument is not working... The terrorists deactivated it!!! All the scientists are worried at the earth station..... tension mounts up.......... SUN is reaching the EARTH slowly............. Vijaykant is tensed as he doesn't know how he is going to save the EARTH...........
Climax
Within a split second, he floats towards the EARTH, puts one leg on earth, turns back, kicks off the SUN with ultimate force.. and jumps back to the spacecraft.... now the SUN is deflecting away from his path to EARTH!!!!!!!!!!!
EARTH SAVED... He shows both Indian flag and his own Rasigar Mandram (?!) Flag in his hand and the spacecraft moves back to earth!
After he reaches earth, while meeting the Press he says the usual dialogue, 'VEELVADHU NAAMAAGA IRUNDHAALUM, VAALVADHU TAMILAGA IRUKKATUM'. And he flies back to Andhra which is the native place of his grand parents.
The End! ;-k
Following Ramana's great Success , South Indian star actor Vijaykanth's next movie will also be a Blockbuster... Here is the story ofVijaykant's next movie...
The Story
It's named as "Captain of the Planet".
Vijaykant is a scientist in NASA.. (A very big set designed for this by Dhaanu). When He was busy launching a satellite to Pluto, his wife simran is about to deliver a baby and she wanted him to be there with her. But the launch process badly needs a person like our hero, and there is no other option. Senior scientist Radha Ravi asks him to stay back till it gets launched.
Our well commited hero successfully launches the satellite, comes back in a horse to home, but by the time he comes, his wife is dead.
Meanwhile, a few other scientists in NASA claim that they did the job of launching a satellite to Pluto and Vijaykant is nowhere concerned with the launch. This makes Vijaykanth feel terribly disappointed and he resigns from NASA and comes back to india with his family, leading a peaceful life..
During the course of time, One day, the scientists, to their surprise find that the SUN is moving towards the EARTH slowly and if it continues for sometime, it may BURN the earth to ashes.. All the scientists rack their brains on 'how to save the EARTH'.. Then they realize that the only person capable of doing it is "THE HERO" (Vijaykanth) .
They visit India, telling him the fact, and Vijaykant joins back to complete the mission of saving the EARTH... After a very big research, Vijaykant invents an instrument. The instrument will deflect the SUN from its path to EARTH when placed to the SUN in a specific angle from some distance .
All the scientists are very happy and appreciate vijaykanth. So finally Vijaykant is all set to go into the SPACE and save the earth.
Now, He and the other person (Chandra sekhar, Who is a prisoner in Vellore, has been choosen by our hero because none other in the US can do that job) are travelling in a spacecraft towards the SUN. They move out of earth's orbit and once in space, they reach a point from where they can use that instrument and make the SUN move away from earth. Vijaykant comes out of the spacecraft and stands on the Wings of the spacecraft.
He takes out the instrument and shows it to the SUN. OH!!!!!!!! The instrument is not working... The terrorists deactivated it!!! All the scientists are worried at the earth station..... tension mounts up.......... SUN is reaching the EARTH slowly............. Vijaykant is tensed as he doesn't know how he is going to save the EARTH...........
Climax
Within a split second, he floats towards the EARTH, puts one leg on earth, turns back, kicks off the SUN with ultimate force.. and jumps back to the spacecraft.... now the SUN is deflecting away from his path to EARTH!!!!!!!!!!!
EARTH SAVED... He shows both Indian flag and his own Rasigar Mandram (?!) Flag in his hand and the spacecraft moves back to earth!
After he reaches earth, while meeting the Press he says the usual dialogue, 'VEELVADHU NAAMAAGA IRUNDHAALUM, VAALVADHU TAMILAGA IRUKKATUM'. And he flies back to Andhra which is the native place of his grand parents.
The End! ;-k
ek minut....
-
Just Another Human - Level 2 Star User
- Posts: 1104
- Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 11:11 pm
- Location: I have to admit Planet Earth
How to Kill a Lion?
Rajnikanth Method:
Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime. The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.
(or)
Remove the make-up and put it over the lion. The lion will die not withstanding that heavy weight.
Kamal Hassan Method:
Go near the lion and cry like anything....Lion will die of sorrow!
Jayalalitha Method:
Send Police Commissioner Natraj around 2 A.M. and kill it, while it's sleeping !
Manirathnam Method:
Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted. Keep murmuring something in its ears. The lion will get highly irritated and commit suicide.
Balachandar Method:
Send a lioness into the forest. Our lion and lioness will fall in love with each other. Send another lioness into the forest, followed by another lion.First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness. But 2nd lioness loves both lions. Now send another lioness(third)into the forest. You dont understand right...ok... read it after 15yrs, then also u wont!
Bharathiraja Method:
Send Napolean and kill it with Thirupachi aruva.
Shanker Method:
Take the lion to Australia or U.S. and kill it in a good scenic location
Vijayakanth Method:
Bring 5 more lions. Fight with them and kill all of them expect one. Then advice some patriotism to the remaining one. This lion will become cow.
T. Rajendar Method:
Bring one lioness. Make ur lion fall in love with the lioness. Arrangefor some 6 or 7 songs(make sure that none of them are duets).... Finally see to it that the love is broken. Lion will die of love failure
Shah rukh khan Method:
Release a film like "ASOKA" and make the lion to watch the movie.
Govinda Method:
Continously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.
Rahul dravid Method:
Ask the lion to bowl at u. U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run.
Menaka gandhi Method:
Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continously.
George Bush Method:
Link the Lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him
;-k
Rajnikanth Method:
Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime. The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.
(or)
Remove the make-up and put it over the lion. The lion will die not withstanding that heavy weight.
Kamal Hassan Method:
Go near the lion and cry like anything....Lion will die of sorrow!
Jayalalitha Method:
Send Police Commissioner Natraj around 2 A.M. and kill it, while it's sleeping !
Manirathnam Method:
Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted. Keep murmuring something in its ears. The lion will get highly irritated and commit suicide.
Balachandar Method:
Send a lioness into the forest. Our lion and lioness will fall in love with each other. Send another lioness into the forest, followed by another lion.First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness. But 2nd lioness loves both lions. Now send another lioness(third)into the forest. You dont understand right...ok... read it after 15yrs, then also u wont!
Bharathiraja Method:
Send Napolean and kill it with Thirupachi aruva.
Shanker Method:
Take the lion to Australia or U.S. and kill it in a good scenic location
Vijayakanth Method:
Bring 5 more lions. Fight with them and kill all of them expect one. Then advice some patriotism to the remaining one. This lion will become cow.
T. Rajendar Method:
Bring one lioness. Make ur lion fall in love with the lioness. Arrangefor some 6 or 7 songs(make sure that none of them are duets).... Finally see to it that the love is broken. Lion will die of love failure
Shah rukh khan Method:
Release a film like "ASOKA" and make the lion to watch the movie.
Govinda Method:
Continously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.
Rahul dravid Method:
Ask the lion to bowl at u. U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run.
Menaka gandhi Method:
Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continously.
George Bush Method:
Link the Lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him
;-k
ek minut....
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Just Another Human - Level 2 Star User
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