marriage is union of two families and not a business deal... in muslim community in gulf the boy has to have a status and need to pay some cash and kind to the brides side if he need to marry that girl.
but we call hi tech world millenium and yet this dowry practice is not dying.. it iwas sad to note a doctor (supposed to be noble) has harrased his wife for dowry and he is now behind bars.
a muslim lady was burnt to death by her so called husband wo were recently married.
what right has he got to take away a precious life just for few thousand of rupees....dont these guys need to be stoned to death market?????
gals and guys please wake up, why are they stooping so low for??
Dowry
Moderator: The Moderator Team
15 posts
• Page 1 of 1
Dowry
Neeraj, in order to understand the significance of dower, a look at the Shari\'ah Law regarding conditions of marriage is necessary. In Islam, the groom is supposed to pay a dowry to the bride, not the other way around. So what you see in Asian subcontinent about Muslims grooms demanding dower from bride\'s parents is incorrect. At the same time, Bride\'s parents demanding high dower from prospective Grooms is wrong (current practice in the Gulf Region). Both practices have resulted in a high number of women not being able to get married, social evils, discord among married couples etc. etc.
CONDITIONS OF MARRIAGE (Shariah law)
A)The most essential aspect of the marriage contract is the commitment and acceptance. One party, normally the guardian of the bride, makes the commitment by stating that he marries away the woman on whose behalf he is acting to the prospective husband according to the Islamic way and for a specific dower. The bridegroom declares then his acceptance of that commitment and that he has married the woman according to the terms specified. That constitutes the marriage contract. Both commitment and acceptance must be done in the same session, and should not be separated by other matters.
B)Witnesses must be present at the time of the contract and a minimum of two is required for the purpose. The important aspect is that marriage must be publicized. The minimum publicity is provided by the presence of two witnesses. The witnesses must be present at the time when the commitment and acceptance is made, and they should be sane, adults and must hear the contract being made and understand that it means marriage. Therefore, if a child or a mad or deaf or drunken person witnesses the marriage contract being made, the contract is not valid. The presence of such persons is the same as their absence.
C)The guardian of the woman to be married should also be present. The woman\'s guardian is normally her father. If her father is present, no one other than him may act for her. If he is dead or absent, then one of her closest relatives should act as her guardian, such as her brother, grandfather or uncle.
D)The dower is also an accessory in the marriage contract. It is compensation paid to the bride and it becomes her own property and she disposes of it in the way she likes. Its amount is fixed by agreement between the two partners. If a marriage contract is made without the dower being specified, the contract is valid, but the woman does not forfeit her right to receive a dower. If her husband refuses to give her what she asks, then she can put the case to a Muslim judge who will rule that she must be given the equivalent of what is given by way of dower to women in her social status.
A dower can be a very little amount. At the time of the Prophet, peace be upon him, a woman accepted a pair of shoes as her dower. The Prophet, peace be upon him, asked her whether it was her decision and whether she accepts. She answered in the affirmative and he endorsed the marriage. Another woman came to the Prophet, peace be upon him, and declared that she makes a gift of that herself to the Prophet, peace be upon him. A man asked him to marry her to him. The Prophet, peace be upon him, asked him whether he had anything to give her by way of dower. The man said that he had nothing except his dress. The Prophet, peace be upon him, said that if he were to give her his dress, he will have nothing to wear. The man tried to find something to give her but could come up with nothing. The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, try to find even a ring of iron, but the man could not find anything. The Prophet, peace be upon him, asked him whether he memorized anything of the Qur\'an, the man said he knew several surahs. The Prophet, peace be upon him, allowed the marriage to go through on the condition that the man would teach his wife the parts of the Qur\'an he knew.
Having said that, it may be made clear that there is no maximum limit to what a man may pay his wife by way of dower. The Prophet, peace be upon him, however, has strongly recommended us (brides\' parents) not to demand excessive dowers. He says: \"The best of women are those with pretty faces and cheap dowers.\" There is a strong indication in that Hadith that the dower should never be related to looks. A woman is not a commodity, which a man buys at a price, which takes into consideration how pretty she looks. She is a life partner to him and she gives him a benefit for which she is entitled to have compensation.
When the marriage contract is made, it is recommended, (i.e. Sunnah) for someone, preferably the person who instructs the two parties what to say to make sure of the correctness of the contract, to say a few words, reminding the people who are present of Allah and the need to conduct one\'s life according to Islam. He may quote some verses of the Qur\'an which are suitable for the occasion and remind that they should always remain God-fearing.
CONDITIONS OF MARRIAGE (Shariah law)
A)The most essential aspect of the marriage contract is the commitment and acceptance. One party, normally the guardian of the bride, makes the commitment by stating that he marries away the woman on whose behalf he is acting to the prospective husband according to the Islamic way and for a specific dower. The bridegroom declares then his acceptance of that commitment and that he has married the woman according to the terms specified. That constitutes the marriage contract. Both commitment and acceptance must be done in the same session, and should not be separated by other matters.
B)Witnesses must be present at the time of the contract and a minimum of two is required for the purpose. The important aspect is that marriage must be publicized. The minimum publicity is provided by the presence of two witnesses. The witnesses must be present at the time when the commitment and acceptance is made, and they should be sane, adults and must hear the contract being made and understand that it means marriage. Therefore, if a child or a mad or deaf or drunken person witnesses the marriage contract being made, the contract is not valid. The presence of such persons is the same as their absence.
C)The guardian of the woman to be married should also be present. The woman\'s guardian is normally her father. If her father is present, no one other than him may act for her. If he is dead or absent, then one of her closest relatives should act as her guardian, such as her brother, grandfather or uncle.
D)The dower is also an accessory in the marriage contract. It is compensation paid to the bride and it becomes her own property and she disposes of it in the way she likes. Its amount is fixed by agreement between the two partners. If a marriage contract is made without the dower being specified, the contract is valid, but the woman does not forfeit her right to receive a dower. If her husband refuses to give her what she asks, then she can put the case to a Muslim judge who will rule that she must be given the equivalent of what is given by way of dower to women in her social status.
A dower can be a very little amount. At the time of the Prophet, peace be upon him, a woman accepted a pair of shoes as her dower. The Prophet, peace be upon him, asked her whether it was her decision and whether she accepts. She answered in the affirmative and he endorsed the marriage. Another woman came to the Prophet, peace be upon him, and declared that she makes a gift of that herself to the Prophet, peace be upon him. A man asked him to marry her to him. The Prophet, peace be upon him, asked him whether he had anything to give her by way of dower. The man said that he had nothing except his dress. The Prophet, peace be upon him, said that if he were to give her his dress, he will have nothing to wear. The man tried to find something to give her but could come up with nothing. The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, try to find even a ring of iron, but the man could not find anything. The Prophet, peace be upon him, asked him whether he memorized anything of the Qur\'an, the man said he knew several surahs. The Prophet, peace be upon him, allowed the marriage to go through on the condition that the man would teach his wife the parts of the Qur\'an he knew.
Having said that, it may be made clear that there is no maximum limit to what a man may pay his wife by way of dower. The Prophet, peace be upon him, however, has strongly recommended us (brides\' parents) not to demand excessive dowers. He says: \"The best of women are those with pretty faces and cheap dowers.\" There is a strong indication in that Hadith that the dower should never be related to looks. A woman is not a commodity, which a man buys at a price, which takes into consideration how pretty she looks. She is a life partner to him and she gives him a benefit for which she is entitled to have compensation.
When the marriage contract is made, it is recommended, (i.e. Sunnah) for someone, preferably the person who instructs the two parties what to say to make sure of the correctness of the contract, to say a few words, reminding the people who are present of Allah and the need to conduct one\'s life according to Islam. He may quote some verses of the Qur\'an which are suitable for the occasion and remind that they should always remain God-fearing.
- Kulcha Hyderabadi
- Guest
Dowry
Dear HiAll,
yes ofcourse i support this community practice cause the innocent women folks will not be troched to death just for few thousand rupees, which ofcourse can\'t compromise with a human life.
22 years the parents of the girl struggle equally to bring up like boys, and and part their valuable daughters in the hands of a boy to build up their own family and not to get trouched. the man get a life partner called wife, the relatiopnship which has no boundries or limits, and wife is the person who is going to be with the husband till the last. why one does not realise this simple reality of life?
it is not that woman cant slap back on the face, but they are decent enough not to do so, cause there need to be a difference between a demon and a damsel////
Tell me how may news every single day we all ready, about dowry casualty?? man pls wake up have some sympathy for the women floks who take cares of your needs and runs the house, which the the most difficult job than being a chief minister for a state.. believe me...
yes ofcourse i support this community practice cause the innocent women folks will not be troched to death just for few thousand rupees, which ofcourse can\'t compromise with a human life.
22 years the parents of the girl struggle equally to bring up like boys, and and part their valuable daughters in the hands of a boy to build up their own family and not to get trouched. the man get a life partner called wife, the relatiopnship which has no boundries or limits, and wife is the person who is going to be with the husband till the last. why one does not realise this simple reality of life?
it is not that woman cant slap back on the face, but they are decent enough not to do so, cause there need to be a difference between a demon and a damsel////
Tell me how may news every single day we all ready, about dowry casualty?? man pls wake up have some sympathy for the women floks who take cares of your needs and runs the house, which the the most difficult job than being a chief minister for a state.. believe me...
- neeraj
- Guest
Dowry
I agree with u neeraj ... what you quoted is absolutely right and I really feel sorry for this poor creature called Women(A true meaning of Sacrifise particularly in Asia).
Marriages are successful there just coz. of their sacrifises. But in return what we are giving to them Harassment-Miserable Life- Death. Everyday you will find atleast appx. 5-10 deaths for dowry in India. To tell you the truth DOWRY , RELIGIOUS discrimination n Riots And POLITICS these are the three major Evils causing damage to India and its prosperity since decades. The time has come to stand together and fight against this Evils ,. no body knows how much time it will take .. how much lives it will take but we have to take a start now.
Marriages are successful there just coz. of their sacrifises. But in return what we are giving to them Harassment-Miserable Life- Death. Everyday you will find atleast appx. 5-10 deaths for dowry in India. To tell you the truth DOWRY , RELIGIOUS discrimination n Riots And POLITICS these are the three major Evils causing damage to India and its prosperity since decades. The time has come to stand together and fight against this Evils ,. no body knows how much time it will take .. how much lives it will take but we have to take a start now.
- Shahed
- Guest
Dowry
i think the ethics of life and sociology should be taught at school level, so boy and girls clearly understand the meaning of ife and human value. but we our curriculum is just mugging old histroy, who care what alexander did those days!!!! only creating a cultural value in young mind is the key for all succcess, for us to develop like rest of the world. we are all so fond of USA , dowry death does not happen in USA, when we try to imitate like westernd like going to TA for Dj why not practice like them to give value for human lives???? indians please wake up, women folks please be brave, and tell you fathersnot to buy (dowry) a boy for the sake of getting married
- neeraj
- Guest
Dowry
Neeraj...this isnt fair man....u`r just depicting male race as inhuman and daemon like creatures....and i strongly oppose ur point that a boy shud give some money to get married to a girl....arey why shud this happen man....i admire ur point that dowry shud be abolished but then im not able to digest ur claim that REVERSE of dowry is acceptable.....man don b so harsh towards men....ne ways gvt is also trying to do something to the woman race...by providing reservatio whereever they go...(which ofcource is strongly condemned by ppl like me...)....hope women get profited by such facilities
- hiall
- Guest
Dowry
Dear Hiall - As mentioned in my earlier posting, the Dower (Mahr) is a marriage gift from the groom to his bride and becomes her exlusive property. Islam has elevated the status of women as Mahr is given as a mark of respect for her. Even if marriage ends in divorce, the dowry remains the wife\'s property and the husband has no right to take it back, except in the case where divorce takes place at the request of the wife in consideration of the return of the whole or part of the Mahr paid to her.....If you look at the laws of inheritence in Islam, a male child gets two shares for each share given to a female child. For non-muslims, this looks odd but if you look at Shari\'ah law as a whole and responsibilities of male and female in a society, you will see the wisdom behind the inheritance law. Islam recognizes the burden of expenses on a male. Besides paying for his marriage, he also has to maitain his family. Where as, the female child who gets half share, recieves something through dower at the time of wedding, which remains her exclusive property and she can dispose the way she wants. Additionally, a female (wife) is not obliged to support the family, even if she has wealth and resources to do so.
- Kulcha Hyderabadi
- Guest
Dowry
well..ofcource he should be in a status to support his newly aquired family....thats the way arranged marriages r fixed......but no point in demanding some money...(as some ppl say a token of gift)....this the thing that dowry has originated in indian society...earlier money was given as symbol of love from the parents to their daughter.....and now u all know..what dowry means now a days,....!!
- hiall
- Guest
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