Parents Need Help!

[Reddy]

Hey Desi Comrades. I\'ve moved out of Hyderabad to the US two years ago. My parents are alone and are having too many problems with their day to day chores. I\'ve seen Elderly Care Homes in the US. Are there any like this in Hyderabad? Can somebody help me, who had the same problem. Please HELP!

[Pasha]

Reddy, ask them to look for \"AGED HOMES\" They are quite a few around Hyderabad & Secunderabad..Good Luck.

[viveka]

Depends how much you are willing spend.

[jethro]

Why don\'t you take them to the US????PROBLEM Eh!

[Ramesh]

There is one next to old Musheerabad jail, in musheerabad, it is called, \"HOME for the Aged\", it is very well maintained and good.

[Vivek]

It is very hard to get addmission in musheerabad. There is one in Dlishuknagar try that.

[tarun]

hi,
let me tell you one thing , please do not put them in old age homes for god sake , its similar to orphanage , you cant leave USA for them?is there anything worse for them then this? they have kids , but the son has decided to put them in old age home. just take some time to consider their what shud be going thru their mind after knowing this thought of yours?
Please for god sake dont do this.
Do you have kids , if yes , then i really pity you , \"you get what you sow\"

[raghu]

you are as good as dead for them once you join them in such a place. good son , keep it up

[Srabana]

You can contact Dr Reddy\'s Heritage Foundation. They have a posh place for aged couples, with great facilities and round the clock medical attendance. Contact Mr Gangadharan at phone no. 3379201. e-mail: gangadar@hd1.vsnl.net.in

[Pasha]

Tarun! I\'m surprised that you have such and attitude towards seperation of parents from kids. Don\'t you think a HOME where elderly people are taken care of by some dedicated people is better than them living alone at the mercy of \"servants, neighbours\" sometimes they have problem to go and buy vegetables or go to the market. Come on Tarun, please be fair to all the daughters and sons who had to leave India due to circumstances.

[Vivek]

Hi Raghu:
Please be a bit more magnanimous. You think Its better for them to rot by themselves, suffer loneliness, get tortured by servants. Get humilated by mankind, but don\'t seek help from people and organizations that are willing to help and are dedicated.

[Conscious]

Check this Website out:
http://www.elderlycare.org
Its a place in Hyderabad - A HOME FOR THE AGED.

[Kishore Kadiyala]

Pasha, it depends on how mature we are and what priorities we have. Will parents ever complain to us that they are feeling lonely and need us around, when they know that that means that we have to give up our career and our ambitions? That gives us as children an additional responsibility. To visualize their daily life. <br>One day, we should just sit back to think, to try to see what a normal day in the life of a lonely man or woman is like. When you or I feel down at the age of 25 or 35, we at least take solace from a feeling that things will not always be like this. Where does your lonely mother derive solace from? At 60, nobody thinks you are great company, there are no great career breaks or breaks in personal life that you can look forward to, and your best days are clearly behind you. You just don\'t see light at the end of the tunnel. Things will _always_ be like this. That\'s a hell of a feeling, something we just don\'t have the maturity to realize in our 20s and 30s. <br>And when your health has taken leave of you as well, it\'s the bottom. <br>The moments a mom or dad gets to chat with the son or daughter are invaluable for them, and irreplaceable. If you are coming home in August, they are looking forward to it from February. That\'s how much they crave for our company. And if you don\'t \"get time\" to talk to them or want to stay with them, have you thought of how low it makes them feel? It\'s very very difficult to live with a low self-worth. And sending them to an old-age home is the final nail. Is there a better tomorrow after that?<br>Like I said, we should try to sometime live their life, for at least a hour. When you keep your parents with yourself, you are giving them a lot of respect and importance, the only things that you can still hope for at old age. Yes, probably they need diapers, but didn\'t you?

[Kishore]

And yes, if we think the servants will torture them, then that\'s our fault, too. We should make the servants understand a few points, and if it doesn\'t work, we should get better servants. And spend more hours at home, doing some things ourselves that we assigned to the servants. We\'ll do them better, and we\'ll give them company, too.

[Vivek]

Kishore:
You have to blessed, to be able to give up the JOB stay home and take care of parents. It\'s impossible. If you are the only child. Plenty of financial constraints, too many loans, medical bills to be paid. You want me to sit at home, who do you think will pay all these bill Kishore? All that you said is quite possible if we are financially sound, and my parents saved enough money for them and as well as me for hard times, medical expenses. But in the real world my friend KISHORE it\'s impossible. Wake up! Wake up!. HOME FOR THE AGED is a good choice. If you don\'t have any other choice.

[Kishore]

I didn\'t say you have to give up a job, Vivek. I just said that we should try to take the maximum time out for our folks and stay with them in the days when they need it the most.

[Vivek]

Dear Kishore thank you very much, but what if a \'Home for the aged\' is truly A HOME AWAY FROM HOME. Parents are happy, children & grandchildren can visit and stay there, lots of company, lots of activities, how much can you do from 6-10 pm, and on a sunday when you have to take care of your wife and kids?? Please help me out here Kishore..are we talking about a common problem or just an unusual situation..

[Pasha]

To Kishore:
Please check this link:
http://www.elderlycare.org/page1.html.
Go to terms. Tell me if you at home will be able to give them all this.

[pasha]

To Kishore: Please check this link: http://www.elderlycare.org/page1.html. Go to terms. Tell me if you at home will be able to give your parents all this. You want them to stay home wait for you every evening to take them out for a walk etc; I think you are being very selfish Kishore

[Kishore]

I\'ve been here, Pasha. My mom doesn\'t need a swimming pool, a health club and weekend trips to the city. My mom has arthritis. And I\'m sure most people in their 50s, 60s and above don\'t care too much for these either. Most of them lived without these even in their 20s and 30s.<br> The other things provided here are food and accommodation. My mom provides me these, and not the other way round, so we don\'t need an old age home. I take my mom to a doctor myself whenever needed, and she doesn\'t need an old age home for that either.<br>Being selfish means doing things that the self most wants. I think sons/daughters who put their folks in an old age home are doing it for themselves - not because the parents want it. So whose self is being satisfied here?

[Vivek]

Dear Kishore: Time will tell. I think you are: 1. Blessed 2. Fortunate 3. Sound 4. Kind & Loving. But, you are an exception. I doubt many of Bil+ population sons & daughters cannot afford that luxury. Lets say HOME FOR THE AGED is for the not so lucky Sons/Daughters who cannot give their parents 100% attention.

[Arvind D\'silva]

Kishore, this is from a survey done:
If you’re 40 or older, you may be among this new generation of caregivers, which is dedicating enormous time, energy and spirit to ensure that aging loved ones are safe, secure and maintaining the best possible quality of life. And chances are you know firsthand the meaning of the term \"Sandwich Generation\"— used to describe the growing number of adult children feeling squeezed between the needs of an aging parent, relative or friend and the demands of their own children, spouses and careers.
Adults born between 1946 and 1965 likely will spend more years caring for a parent than for their children. Juggling these competing demands is not easy, but it can be done.\" Its very hard to see your parents \"SUFFER\" Its HARDER on the parents to see their children \"STRUGGLE\" to keep them happy. That is the \"Cycle of Life\". Everyone has to do what is good for them. SELFISHNESS SELFLESSNESS and all this is just cirumstantial. If you can afford it you become \'SELFLESS\'. If you cannot afford it you become \'SELFISH\'