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WIPRO Aziz Premji's Lessons

by Happy Hyderabadi » Wed Apr 28, 2004 9:16 pm

WIPRO Aziz Premji's Lessons on Life

*

We must always begin with our strengths.

* *

A Rupee earned is of far more value than five found.

***

No one bats a hundred every time.

****

The importance of humility.

*****

We must always strive for excellence... Excellence is not an act but a habit.

***** *

Never give up in the face of adversity.

***** **

While you must be open to change, do not compromise on your values.

***** ***

We must have faith in our own ideas even if everyone tells us that we are wrong. ... Remember, those who win are those who believe they can.



-------------

^^^ From the Speech made by Azim Premji at the Shaping Young Minds interactive workshop organised jointly by the All India Management Association and the Bombay Management Association



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Tenets of Life!

by Happy Hyderabadi » Wed Apr 28, 2004 9:21 pm

George Carlin's Ten Tenets on How To Stay Young:



1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.



2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.



3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.



4. Enjoy the simple things.



5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.



6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.



7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.



8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.



9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.



10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.



AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away!



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Indian IT & Med Pros in Demand!

by Happy Hyderabadi » Thu Apr 29, 2004 3:45 pm

Indian IT & Med Pros in Demand!




Thank You:

H C SHANKAR <fortune500@roltanet.com>



Why the West wants Indain IT & Medical Pros



If you are Indian and highly skilled in the specialised professions like IT and medicine then countries like the US, the UK and the rest of Europe are desperately on the look out for you. And why not? You bring much needed talent in sparsely supplied fields and

high-end jobs also mean more money through taxes for the host countries.



Till recently, you had to be either a high-powered banker or an MNC executive if you were to make it to the rich countries. Now not only are Indians, engaged in new economy sectors, moving abroad but jobs are also moving to India.



The US and the UK have created special immigration schemes to attract Indians, apart from improvising on existing schemes that have existed for some years in Australia,

Canada, and New Zealand. Germany, meanwhile, has brought about a new "green card" scheme to recruit foreign IT specialists and to train 2,50,000 domestic specialists by 2005.



As is well-known, the Silicon Valley is much dependent on Indians for supplying

entrepreneurs as well as workers.



The new approach centres around the governments' working in close quarters with employers to cut down on labour shortages. The recruitments are highly tailored

to meet specific requirements by industry and then to fast-track admissions on a temporary basis.



While much ink has been spilled over the rising trend of Indian professionals snatching away the jobs from their American and European counterparts in their country, nobody doubts that the skilled, English speaking, hardworking, tech-savvy, and of course much

economical Indian professionals deserve them.



Therefore, is it any surprise that more and more Indian professionals are now packing their bags and heading towards newer foreign destinations than the traditional US-UK-West Asia to fulfil their career goals. However, this should not ring alarm bells for

countries like the US, UK and Canada, which already have huge Indian populations.



Primarily, because this flight is one that is tremendously beneficial to the host country as it gets to benefit greatly from the presence of skilled Indian workers. More and more Indian doctors, nurses, teachers and software professionals wanting to migrate, mean big revenues in the form of taxes and services. Further, they also add to the country's knowledge bank and help boost the skill base.



Although most developed nations like the UK and Australia remain apprehensive about employing the services of highly skilled overseas workers, analysts suggest that in the long-term, such migrations will benefit these countries more than it harms them.



According to Harvard Professor Jorge Borjas the benefit from the highly-skilled immigrants to the US economy are greater than the short term concern of losing jobs. An immigrant with below-average education will cost the US about $13,000 per year whereas one with at least two years of college education generates $198,000 in taxes over his lifetime.



The past decade has witnessed the entire world inching closer under the fold of globalisation. Countries have come closer and mutual inter-dependence in terms of trade and commerce have taken a huge northward leap. Therefore it comes as no surprise that

the IT industry, especially in the Silicon Valley, is effectively manned by Indian software engineers.



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Tale of Two Gadhas!

by Happy Hyderabadi » Thu Apr 29, 2004 4:00 pm

Tale of Two Gadhas!




Corporate parable – “Gadha in waiting”

This is the story of 2 gadhas, Lawaris Gadha (LG) and Circus Gadha (CG)



The circus gadha earns its keep by doing lot of hard work, like carrying all the loads on his back, whenever the circus shifts from one place to another. When the circus is on, it has to lug loads from tent to tent. Lots of hard work for the poor fellow, practically back breaking but food and shelter were assured.

The friend lawaris gadha like a mast maula roamed about freely in search of food and fun; choosing on a whim when to relax below any outcrop but of course, without any fixed place or address.

Both met after a long time and compared notes about their respective life styles. The LG fellow could not understand why the CG is still sticking around; he should run away from these golden shackles. So he asked the reason from the circus gadha for his sticking around.

The CG replied,” Yes, I know I do lot of hard work to earn my keep but there is a good scope here to go up.” LG asked,” how come?’ The CG replied, “ The other day the daughter of the owner was practising on the trapeze and she fell down, I was standing near by. The owner shouted at his daughter, if you fall down next time then I will get you married to this gadha.” Since then I am patiently waiting for her to fall so that I can become the damad of the owner, otherwise do you think I am such a fool to stick around.”

Isn’t this a familiar scene in the corporate world where everyone is waiting for a break. Like the song of Adnana Shani “lift kara de”……

----------

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by akhilis2cool » Thu Apr 29, 2004 4:34 pm

very good post saaaar,

where do u get all these from? :D
People are crazy, at times are strange. I am locked-in tight, I am out of range.
I used to care, but things have changed.
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eChat with God!

by Happy Hyderaabadi » Thu Apr 29, 2004 6:09 pm

eChat with God!




God : Hello. Did you call me?

1: Called you? No.. who is this?



God : This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat with you.

1: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something..



God : What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.

1: Don't know. But I can’t find free time. Life has become hectic. It's rush hour all the time.

God : Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.



1: I understand. But I still can’t figure out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.

God : Well I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.

1: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?

God : Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.

1: Why are we then constantly unhappy?

God : Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.



1: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?

God : Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.



1: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty..

God : Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.



1: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?

God : A Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience their life become better not bitter.



1: You mean to say such experience is useful?

God : Yes. Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.



1: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why cant we be free from problems?

God : Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons (to) Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.



1: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading.

God : If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.



1: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?

God : Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.



1: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?

God : Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.



1: What surprises you about people?

God : when they suffer they ask, "why me?" When they prosper, they never ask "Why me" Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.



1: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I can’t get the answer.

God : Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.



1: How can I get the best out of life?

God : Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.



1: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.

God : There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.



1: Thank you for this wonderful chat. I am so happy to start another life with a new sense of inspiration.



God : Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live.
Best wishes for a wonderful life.
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eG ... No!

by Happy Hyderabadi » Thu Apr 29, 2004 6:25 pm

eG ... No!



1 - God, take away my pride.

G - No. It is not for Me to take away, but for you to give it up.



1 - God, make my handicapped child whole.

G - No. Her spirit is whole, her body is only temporary.



1 - God, grant me patience.

G - No.Patience is a by product of tribulations; it isn't granted, it is earned.



1 - God, give me happiness.

G - No. I give you blessings, happiness is up to you.



1 - God, spare me pain.

G - No. Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to Me.



1 - God, make my spirit grow.

G - No. You must grow on your own, but I will prune you to make you fruitful.



1 - God, give me all things that I might enjoy life.

G - No. I will give you life so that you may enjoy all things.



1 - God, help me LOVE others, as much as You love me.

G - Ahhhh, finally you have the idea!



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by azazel » Thu Apr 29, 2004 11:34 pm

tussi gr8 ho saaar :D
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IT Development: USA - India Issues!

by Happy Hyderabadi » Fri Apr 30, 2004 10:11 am

IT Development: USA - India Issues!


Thank You:

H C SHANKAR <fortune500@roltanet.com>

Article from the New York Times



Companies Finding Some Computer Jobs Best Done in U.S.



April 28, 2004

By EDUARDO PORTER



Even as the prospect of high-skilled American jobs moving to low-wage countries like India ignites hot political debate, some entrepreneurs are finding that India's vaunted

high-technology work force is not always as effective as advertised.



"For three years we tried all kinds of models, but nothing has worked so far," said the co-founder and chief technology officer of Storability Software in Southborough, Mass. After trying to reduce costs by contracting out software programming tasks to India, Storability brought back most of the work to the United States, where it costs four times as much, and hired more programmers here. The "depth of knowledge in the area we want to build software is not good enough" among Indian programmers, the executive said.



If it sounds like "Made in the U.S.A." jingoism, consider this: The entrepreneur, Hemant Kurande, is Indian. He was born and raised near Bombay and received his master's degree from the Indian Institute of Technology in that city, now known as Mumbai. Mr. Kurande is not alone in his views on "outsourcing" technology work to India. As more companies in the United States rush to take advantage of India's ample supply of cheap yet highly trained workers, even some of the most motivated American companies – ones set up or run by executives born and trained in India – are concluding that the cost advantage does not always justify the effort.



For many of the most crucial technology tasks, they find that a work force operating within the American business environment better suits their needs.



"Only certain kinds of tasks can be outsourced - what can be set down as a set of rules," said Nariman Behravesh, chief economist of Global Insight, a forecasting and consulting firm based in Waltham, Mass. "That which requires more creativity is more difficult to manage at a distance."



Another Indian executive in the United States who has soured on outsourcing is Dev Ittycheria, the chief executive of Bladelogic, a designer of network management software with 70 workers, also in Waltham. Bladelogic,

whose client list includes General Electric and Sprint, outsourced work to India within months of going into usiness in 2001. But it concluded that projects it farmed out - one to install an operating system across a network, another to keep tabs on changes done to the system – could be done faster and at a lower cost in the United States.



That was true even though programmers in India cost Bladelogic $3,500 a month versus a monthly cost of $10,000 for programmers in the United States. "The cost savings in India were three to one," Mr. Ittycheria said . "But the difference in productivity was six to one."



Bladelogic's chief technology officer, Vijay Manwani, born and educated in India, predicts that once the "hype cycle" about Indian outsourcing runs its course, projects will come back to the United States "when people find that their productivity goals have not been met."



The upshot is that high-technology corporations are likely to ship more and more business functions to India to take advantage of its well-trained work force. However, even as they do so they will keep many essential tasks here.



For instance, Storability Software, which designs systems to manage data storage and has 25 employees in the United States, first tried to outsource some core programming tasks to a big software contractor in India. When that did not work, it tried a more specialized boutique. When this company did not deliver up to Storability's specifications either, the company hired four programmers in the United States to help rewrite the code.



But Storability also stuck to India, setting up its own small shop in Pune late last year, where its 25 programmers perform noncore tasks. "We essentially realigned our motivations," Mr. Kurande said. "We were able to figure out areas of our engineering that suited them."



The Indian entrepreneurs in this country – business executives with the cultural affinity and local connections that might be most conducive to making offshore partnerships work - do not fault the work ethic of the programmers in India. But they say the geographic distance

and the differences in business contexts can be difficult to bridge.



A typical challenge is the difficulty of finding programmers overseas who can go beyond following well-known procedures to the next steps of identifying problems and creating new solutions.



For instance, ConnecTerra, a Cambridge, Mass., company that designs software to manage data from electronic devices like new radar-based ID tags that companies can use to track inventory, tried programmers in India last year. But ConnecTerra, which has 30 employees in the United States, ultimately gave up on outsourcing because the Indian company that it worked with could not deal with the fast-changing requirements.



Murali Menon, an Indian-born executive who was ConnecTerra's vice president for engineering at the time, dealt with the recruitment of the Indian company. He said the Indian programmers required more detailed instructions to write the software code than would a programmer here, who would be more familiar with the customer's needs. This slowed the process, which was a major drawback because this technology is new and changing very fast. Ultimately, the product that the Indian programmers delivered was unwieldy, with software code written in one big chunk rather than more flexible modules that top programmers use now.



No one questions the dedication of Indian programmers. "They worked hard," Mr. Menon said of the programmers in India, "but couldn't keep up."



(Executives at Bladelogic, Storability and ConnecTerra declined to divulge the names of the companies they have worked with in India, saying that it might damage potential

business relationships for other work in the future.)



In the end, many say the advantages of keeping some of the most sophisticated work in the United States are related to the factors that draw technology entrepreneurs from India

and elsewhere to this country in the first place: Indian engineers and software designers in this country know that the businesses whose needs are driving technological innovation are mostly in the United States. It comes down to being where the customers are.



A defense of the programming industry in India comes from Bassab Pradhan, the senior vice president for worldwide sales for Infosys Technologies. Infosys, based in Bangalore, is India's largest software services company. Of its revenue of $1.06 billion last year, about two-thirds came from American corporate clients including Visa International, Boeing and Cisco Systems; it provides them with services like data entry, programming and customer

technical support.



Mr. Pradhan, who is Indian-educated, disagrees with critics who say that Indian-trained workers lack creative ability. When outsourcing fails, he said, it is typically because

"less disciplined" businesses try to farm out projects that are not properly defined.



But Mr. Pradhan agreed that the need for proximity to the final user of the technology does place limits on what types of tasks can be outsourced. "Whenever the pace of innovation is very rapid," he said, "is when the work should be done closer to the client."



In the future international division of labor, Mr. Pradhan said, the production of the technology will be done in places like India, which can deliver it reliably at a low cost. What cannot be sent to India, he said, is the invention of new business processes and technologies.



Conceiving inventory-management software that helps a retailer make the best use of electronic product tags, for example, might be something best done by system designers

in the United States working closely with the retailer. Once such a system and its tasks have been mapped out, though, the software code could be written by programmers in India.



Such distinctions are why even the champions of India's programmers-for-hire industry are trying to do more work within the United States. This month, for instance, Infosys announced that it would spend $20 million to set up a consulting company in the United States. It has already hired some top consultants from companies including Deloitte Consulting, Cap Gemini, Ernst & Young and E.D.S., and plans to recruit others.



Innovative business processes result from "an understanding of the business that happens when people get into a room and talk to each other," Mr. Pradhan said. "That is very difficult to outsource."

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Letter Values Vs Words Worth!

by Happy Hyderabadi » Fri Apr 30, 2004 10:39 am

Letter Values Vs Words Worth!




Saw this "Words Worth" at a Junior College in Disukh Nagar:

D - 4, I - 9, S - 19, C - 3, I - 9, P -16, L -12, I - 9, N -14, E - 5 = 100!



By the Same Way, We can get the following "Words Worth":

C - 3, R - 18, E - 5, A - 1, T - 20, I - 9, V - 22, I - 9, T - 20, Y - 25 = 132!



So, CREATIVITY Outscores DISCIPLINE any day ... While Discipline helps one to do one's Work in an Orderly Way, Creativity helps one to do the Same in Another, perhaps, Better Way ... Witness the Developments in Any Technology Area, More So in the IT & Computer Fields!



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Hamara Hyderabad Mein Kya Hoga!

by Happy Hyderabadi » Sat May 01, 2004 5:09 pm

Hamara Hyderabad Mein Kya Hota!


Which City?!

You may know the City, from the City's Street Brawl -

City 1

Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, then a fourth and they start arguing about who's right. You are in Kolkata!



City 2

Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, sees them and walks on. That's Mumbai!



City 3

Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along & tries to make peace. The first two get together & beat him up. That's Delhi!



City 4

Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along and quietly opens a chai/kapi stall --- That's Chennai or anywhere in Tamil Nadu.



Hamara Hyderabad Mein Kya Hota!




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by azazel » Sat May 01, 2004 8:38 pm

hamare Hyderabad me ye dekhne ko milta hai :

2 guys r fighting..a crowd athers..n u can hear stuff like the following being said..

ek rakke do bhaai, mai hun yainch.. apan dekhlinge

kya to bhi hua? kya to bhi hua?

maar makad*y ku, maar

tum rakho to sahi, mai sambhaal letau



n all those who say these, dun have ne idea as to wtf is goin on :shock:

finally, crowd separates the 2, patches things up!
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Oxymorons ... Know Them!

by Happy Hyderabadi » Tue May 04, 2004 3:44 pm

Oxymorons ... Know Them!


Oxymorons are a combination of two words that are Opposite in meaning, such as….

45. Act Naturally

44. Found Missing

43. Resident Alien

42. Advanced BASIC

41. Genuine Imitation

40. Airline Food

39. Good Grief

38. Same Difference

37. Almost Exactly

36. Government Organization

35. Sanitary Landfill

34. Alone Together

33. Legally Drunk

32. Silent Scream

31. Living Dead

30. Small Crowd

29. Business Ethics

28. Soft Rock

27. Butt Head

26. Military Intelligence

25. Software Documentation

24. New Classic

23. Sweet Sorrow

22. Child Proof

21. "Now, Then."

20. Synthetic Natural Gas

19. Passive Aggression

18. Taped Live

17. Clearly Misunderstood

16. Peace Force

15. Extinct Life

14. Temporary Tax Increase

13. Computer Jock

12. Plastic Glasses

11. Terribly Pleased

10. Computer Security

9. Political Science

8. Tight Slacks

7. Definite Maybe

6. Pretty Ugly

5. Twelve-ounce Pound Cake

4. Diet Ice Cream

3. Working Vacation

2. Exact Estimate

And the Number 1 OXYMORON is: Microsoft Works!

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Golden Quadrilateral!

by Happy Hyderabadi » Sat May 08, 2004 8:13 pm

Golden Quadrilateral!

Our own Vajpaiji was disturbed with the happenings in India. Nothing seemed to move. He had just announced the grand scheme of the Golden Quadrilateral but as usual the machinery to move the system was taking time. The opposition was attacking the scheme with all guns blazing. He was taking a walk along the sea shore with a heavy heart when he found a magic lamp on the sea shore. He rubbed it as that is the done thing when one finds a magic lamp.

As per the practice a genie appeared before him and said “Master, tell me what can I do for you?” Vajpai was pleased and asked the genie to help him to finish the golden quadrilateral project quickly. The genie reacted very sharply that it is not possible as it requires million plus tons of cement, steel etc and permission from all sorts of Indian agencies, state governments, insurgents etc., which made it next to impossible, and so will you please make another wish!

At that time Vajpai was in trouble with the ladies, Mayavati, Sonia, Mamta, Jayalalita so he said, ”All right give me some power so that I can read the mind of these ladies.” (and named them...)

“No Sir, that is not possible at all otherwise why do you think I have become a genie? It was curse from one such lady, ok; ok; tell me more about your golden quadrilateral plan. Do you want that to be 6 lanes, concreted, with underpasses, halogen lights et al and when do you want that?”

And thus the quadrilateral project took off………….



Courtesy: snroy@royclan.com

______________



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Re: Letter Values Vs Words Worth!

by Happy Hyderabadi » Sun May 09, 2004 4:32 pm

Happy Hyderabadi wrote: Letter Values Vs Words Worth!



Continuing ...

If

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented

as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.



Then,

H A R D W O R K

8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%



K N O W L E D G E

11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%



But,

A T T I T U D E

1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%



And,

B U L L S H I T

2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%



So, it stands to reason that hardwork and knowledge will get you close, attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top.



And look how far being the person below shall take you.........

LAZY-FELLOW

12 1 26 25 6 5 12 12 15 23 = 137%

will take you.



On a whim I looked up

F U L L H Y D. C O M

6+21+12+12+8+9+20+3+19+17 = 127%!



So, pitch in full FH Members!

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Re: Letter Values Vs Words Worth!

by Happy Hyderabadi » Sun May 09, 2004 6:01 pm

Happy Hyderabadi wrote:
Happy Hyderabadi wrote: Letter Values Vs Words Worth!


Continuing ...
Oops :oops:
Correction
F U L L H Y D. C O M
6+21+12+12+8+25+4+3+19+17 = 127%!


So, pitch in full FH Members!

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by Stingrae » Mon May 10, 2004 8:56 pm

in reply to d bullshit will put u over to d top line..



a turkey really wants to how to fly...so it asks a cow how to get its ass in d sky.....d cow tells him to eat his (cow's) shit....so there,everday d turkey eats a lil shit n learns to fly higher n higher.....one day it flies to d top of d highest tree in d farm....the neighbourin farmer sees it n shoots it down to hav a nice meal of roast turkey for dinner...



Moral of d story : bullshit can get u to d top...but it wont keep u there.



:-D
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Cool Cats!

by Happy Hyderabadi » Fri May 14, 2004 2:07 pm

Cool Cats!

Four people were bragging about how smart their cats are. The first was an Engineer, the second an Accountant, the third a Chemist, and the fourth was a Government Official.



To show off, the Engineer called to his cat, "T-square, do your stuff."

T-square pranced over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and primly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.



Everyone agreed that was pretty smart, but the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff."

Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into four equal piles of three each.



Everyone agreed that was good, but the Chemist said his cat could do even better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a ten ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly eight ounces without spilling a drop.



Everyone agreed that was very good.

Then the three men turned to the Government Official and said, "What can your cat do?"

The Government Official called to his cat and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff." Coffee break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, "dumped" on the paper, then "played" with the other three cats; and then claimed he had injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workman's Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave!

:wink: :roll: :idea: :arrow:
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I Would Like (You) to Be Happy!

by Happy Hyderabadi » Sat May 22, 2004 9:12 am

I Would Like (You) to Be Happy!

* Here's a recipe for permanent misery:

- Decide how you think the world SHOULD be.

- Make rules for how everyone SHOULD behave.

- Then, when the world doesn't obey your rules, get angry!

That's what miserable people do!

**

Let's say you expect that:

Friends SHOULD return favors.

People SHOULD appreciate you.

Planes SHOULD arrive on time.

Everyone SHOULD be honest.

Your spouse SHOULD remember your birthday.

These expectations may sound reasonable. But often, these things won't happen! So you end up frustrated and disappointed.

***

There's a better strategy. Have less demands. Instead, have preferences! For things that are beyond your control, tell yourself: "I WOULD PREFER "A", BUT IF "B" HAPPENS, IT'S OK TOO!" This is really a game that you play in your head. It is a shift in attitude, and it gives you more peace of mind.

You prefer that people are polite ... but when they are rude, it doesn't ruin your day. You prefer sunshine ... but rain is ok!

****

To become happier, we either need to

- change the world, or

- change our thinking.

It is easier to change our thinking!

*****

It's not what happens to you that determines your happiness.
It's how you think about what happens to you.
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Re: Oxymorons ... Know Them!

by Ajju » Sun May 23, 2004 12:22 am

Happy Hyderabadi wrote: Oxymorons ... Know Them!

Oxymorons are a combination of two words that are Opposite in meaning, such as….
45. Act Naturally
44. Found Missing
43. Resident Alien
..............
5. Twelve-ounce Pound Cake
4. Diet Ice Cream
3. Working Vacation
2. Exact Estimate
And the Number 1 OXYMORON is: Microsoft Works!
:!: :arrow:






i actually picked this up from another discussion board (i guess by ^AltDel, not too sure, pardon me) but i thought it shud b mentioned here along wid dis huge list, and which must occupy the numero uno pos'n:



1. Smart Sardarji (Dr. Singh, no offence to the wud b PM!!)
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Re: Oxymorons ... Know Them!

by Happy Hyderabadi » Sun May 23, 2004 8:49 am

Ajju wrote: ... And the Number 1 OXYMORON is: Microsoft Works!
....
i actually picked this up from another discussion board (i guess by ^AltDel, not too sure, pardon me) but i thought it shud b mentioned here along wid dis huge list, and which must occupy the numero uno pos'n:

1. Smart Sardarji (Dr. Singh, no offence to the wud b PM!!)


Thank You, "Ajju", for the "Distinction" of Sardarji ... Another Digression / Diversion: At an Exhibition of "Brains from India", Brains from Every Region of the Country were on Display, with Different Price Tags like Rs 3000 for Telugu Brain, Rs 4000 for Tamil Brain, Rs 8000 for Sindhi Brain and so on. The Sole Sardarji Brain On Display Had the Price Tag of Rs 100 Crore ... Asked for this Highest Price came the Reply: "Can You guess how many had to be cut to get this Rare Masterpiece" ... I quote You: 1. Smart Sardarji (Dr. Singh, no offence to the wud b PM!!)

:wink: :arrow:
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eViruses!

by Happy Hyderabadi » Fri May 28, 2004 9:44 pm

COMPUTER VIRUS TYPES



Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.



Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.



Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.



AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.



The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.



Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.



Federal bureaucrat virus: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which do practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer.



Freudian virus: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.



Gallup virus: Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error).



New World Order virus: probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.



Nike virus: Just Does It!



Paul Revere virus: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack---once if by LAN, twice if by C:.



PBS virus: Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.



Politically correct virus: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic micro-organism".



Ted Kennedy virus: Crashes your computer but denies it ever happened.



Texas virus: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.



------------------

Be Wise eVirus-Wise!



:twisted: :arrow:
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Thank You, Majrooh!

by Happy Hyderabadi » Tue Jun 01, 2004 9:56 am

Thank You, Majrooh!
I set out alone
Towards the goal.
Others kept joining,
And soon it was a Caravan.

I was sitting in a far corner:
Still, the saki spotted me.
If your thirst is genuine
Cups will certainly come your way.

It is unlikely that after me
There will be no more journeys:
I have not left a footprint which is not
A beacon for those coming behind.

-Majrooh




8) :idea:
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World Alliance Day!

by Happy Hyderabadi » Wed Jun 02, 2004 9:32 pm

World Alliance Day



After coming to Kolkata I was trying to find out my childhood friend Jib, well his name is actually Jibanandan but he cut it short to Jib, he got into ad world where the old fashioned name like Jibanandan won’t work.

By some means I could get his office address, now he runs an event management firm. I searched out his office in Beckbagan, I thought I will see a classy office in an up market location but it was not so. He has a neat roomy office. I found him in jeans, flowery shirt, semi bald, has become quite fat probably from attending various partys, guzzling endless beer and a goatee(dyed)). His office was full of war posters and an assortment of world war cuttings were pasted on a bulletin board. I had already informed him over phone about my visit. He got up from his chair and gave me a bear hug like jadu ki jhappi of Munna Bhai type. After exchanging pleasantries and catching up with our lost time (I won’t go to those details), we came to the present.

Inquisitively I asked,” him that I understand about event management but why all those world war posters”.

“Don’t you see TV, don’t you read papers?” he asked.

“Yes, definitely I do.”

“Aren’t you reading that this election was about which party made the best alliance?”

“Yes, but what that has to do with world war and event management?’

He was slightly annoyed and informed me,” Don’t you know that India is the second largest middle class market in the world, and all marketing gurus are producing product suiting to Indian market. Also some of the western happenings like mother’s day, valentine day etc has been introduced by the event managers and greetings card producers in India and you see how educated mass is lapping these up.”

“Oh; those” was my lame reply, and “But still, I don’t follow the connection between world war, alliance and your company” was my brave rejoinder.

He started explaining me,” You see the First World War happened because of inter rivalries between the alliances in Europe, America and Japan got entwined finally. It all started with the assassination of Arch Duke Franz Ferdinand of Austro Hungarian on 28th June 1914.”

“So?” I asked, “I still don’t get it.”

“Well that assassination sparked a war between Austro Hungarian and Serbia as it was a Serbian nationalist who killed the Arch Duke.” he knowledgeably informed me.

“That war started on 28th July 1914, one by one whole of Europe got divided in two blocks, one with Austro Hungarian and the others with Serbia. For example Russia was with Serbia but Germany was with Austro Hungarian and so on.” he explained patiently.

“With this backdrop and with the latest alliance politics in India in hand I am working for creating World Alliance day on 28th of July.” he informed me.

Having become some what knowledgeable in this market economy strategy, I brightly said,” You must be having tie up with some greetings card company and also some companies who will produce various badges, toys etc, some hotels, some tour operators?”

“You are catching up fast,” he commented.

“It may look far fetched but the war between the alliances in India and World War 1 are no different and we Indians are looking forward for some weird out let for spending our excess money so why not another World Day. Already alliance has become talk of the town so why not encash that?”

With a wink he added, “I may require your help for spreading this concept among your friends as 28th July is approaching fast and lot of work to do yet”

So folks watch out for another World day on 28th of July. You can correspond with me for cards, toys, masks etc of our alliance leaders and world leaders. I am looking forward for some commission from him.

Visit http://www.royclan.com

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Mankind is divided into three classes:
Those who are immovable; those who are movable, and those who move.
[i] -[i] Benjamin Franklin
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Thoughtful French Scribe!

by Happy Hyderabadi » Thu Jun 10, 2004 2:38 pm

Thoughtful French Scribe!

Please refer to this article from a french journalist.

http://www.rediff.com/news/2004/jun/07franc.htm

It Addresses Us All!

:!: :idea:
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