10 myths women have about men

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WHAT WOMEN WANT
in various stages of their life...



Original List (age 22):



1. Handsome

2. Charming

3. Financially successful

4. A caring listener

5. Witty

6. In good shape

7. Dresses with style

8. Appreciates finer things

9. Full of thoughtful surprises

10. An imaginative, romantic lover





Revised List (age 32):



1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)

2. Opens car doors, holds chairs

3. Has enough money for a nice dinner

4. Listens more than talks

5. Laughs at my jokes

6. Carries bags of groceries with ease

7. Owns at least one tie

8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal

9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries

10. Seeks romance at least once a week





Revised List (age 42):



1. Not too ugly (bald head OK)

2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car

3. Works steady -- splurges on dinner out occasionally

4. Nods head when I'm talking

5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes

6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture

7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach

8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids

9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down

10. Shaves most weekends





Revised List (age 52):



1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed

2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public

3. Doesn't borrow money too often

4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting

5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times

6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends

7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear

8. Appreciates a good TV dinner

9. Remembers my name on occasion

10. Shaves some weekends





Revised List (age 62):



1. Doesn't scare small children

2. Remembers where bathroom is

3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep

4. Only snores lightly when asleep

5. Remembers why he's laughing

6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself

7. Usually wears clothes

8. Likes soft foods

9. Remembers where he left his teeth

10. Remembers that it's the weekend





Revised List (age 72):



1. Breathing

2. Doesn't miss the toilet

[mysterious babe]

Women:



A wife was not at home for a whole night. So she tells her husband, the very next morning, that she stayed at her girlfriend's apartment over

night. So the husband calls 10 of her best girlfriends and none of them confirm that.



men:



A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the verynext morning, that he stayed at his friend's apartment over night. So the wife calls 10 of his best friends and 5 of them confirm that he stayed at their apartments that night and the other 5 are claiming that he is still with them.

[malakpetmasala]

Women:

A wife was not at home for a whole night. So she tells her husband, the very next morning, that she stayed at her girlfriend's apartment over
night. So the husband calls 10 of her best girlfriends and none of them confirm that.

men:

A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the verynext morning, that he stayed at his friend's apartment over night. So the wife calls 10 of his best friends and 5 of them confirm that he stayed at their apartments that night and the other 5 are claiming that he is still with them.

tleast 'HE' did nt lie

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The Newer Testament



After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how's everything going?" inquired God.



"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking; the smells, the sights---everything is wonderful. But I have just this one problem. It's these three breasts that you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out, and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches, snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain," reported Eve.



Eve went on to tell God that many other parts of her body such as her limbs, eyes, and ears came in pairs, and she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more 'symmetrically balanced" as she put it.



"That is a fair point," replied God, "but it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away."



God reached down, removed the middle breast, and tossed it into the bushes.



Three weeks passed, and God once again visited Eve in the Garden. "Well, Eve, how's my favorite creation now?"



"Just fantastic," she replied, "but for one over-sight on your part. You see all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram, and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."



God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately

create a man from a part of you.....now let's see, where did I put that useless boob?"



Now, doesn't THAT make more sense than that business about the rib?