of words and their implications

[badcash_high]

If a cigarette is a fag, does that make a cigar a faggot?



Is man god's biggest mistake or is god man's biggest mistake?



Do you think that if jesus came back he'd want to see a cross?



Suppose jesus was executed about ten years ago, would that mean that everyone would wear electric chairs or hyperdermic needles around their necks?



Who was more proficient at genocide.... god or hitler?



How come no woman has every contributed anything of any significance to the bible?



these were questions born out of random boredom..... i would have had them aborted but then that would render the whole purpose of my ramblings useless and conequently the further analysis of this whole process a complete waste of time, energy, electricity, pixels and the guy whose internet connection i'm abusing.....

so humour me......

[ZC]

if a mag is a magazine, then Maggot is a (book) worm??????????

[Happy Hyderabadi]

Can 'dog' turn and become 'god' ... and 'to' turn and become 'ot' ... to get 'godot'?! ...



First Ass

Another Ass

Then i

Last Nation

Is this

ASSASSINATION!



If you do this to Time

Are you Time Killer?!

[azazel]

First Ass
Another Ass
Then i
Last Nation
Is this
ASSASSINATION!

If Pamela Anderson breast-feeds her children, does the milk come in plastic bags???

If milk contains fat and fat is responsible for high cholestrol, how come cows dont have heart attacks???

[ZC]

BBC news reader of Asia Today says " A special edition of Asia Today from Sydney, Australia" Asia and Sydney Australia

[CtrlAltDel]

BBC news reader of Asia Today says " A special edition of Asia Today from Sydney, Australia" Asia and Sydney Australia

its been OUT-SOURCED to Australia!

[ZC]

ha ha ha ha. the entire news for 15 minutes was abt Aussie now, if my Kid says "look, BBC says that Australia is in Asia" Dad, ur wrong, they are not two continents.....Australia is part of Asia !! what shud i say

[ZC]

if driving after drinking is not allowed. then y do bars have parking lots ?

[CtrlAltDel]

If beauty parlor is suppossed to make a lady beautiful, why are most good beauticians ugly?

[Happy Hyderabadi]

Is it

Cross-Word

Or

Cross-Sword ...



Why is it

Join Issue

When You Mean

to Disagree ...



Why do

Leave No Stone Unturned

When You May

Turn / Throw All Stones!

[Bimbette]

Hi all,



This one's really long,



See if you can justify the following:



1. Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

2. Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

3. Why is a boxing ring square?

4. Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

5. Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

6. Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

7. Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on "Start"?

8. Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

9. Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

10. Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

11. You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can’t they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

12. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

13. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

14. If Webster wrote the first dictionary,where did he find the words?

15. Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

16. Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

17. Why do ’tug’ boats push their barges?

18. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

19. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light" ?

20. Doesn’t ’expecting the unexpected’ make the unexpected expected?

21. Why are a ’wise man’ and a ’wise guy’ opposites?

22. Why do ’overlook’ and ’oversee’ mean opposite things?

23. Why is phonics not spelled the way it sounds?

24. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

25. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

26. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

27. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

28. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them?

29. Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

We were born Intelligent, but education has ruined you, me & everyone else...!!!



=====================================================



Not even Bill Gates can explain this one!



Try this:



Open a blank Word document and type

= rand (200,99)



Press Enter and wait 3 seconds...



unbelievable isn’t it!!!!!

[Gormless Gus]

I think the most intriguing questions of them all:



Why

did

the

chicken

cross

the

road?

[azazel]

oh u didnt know??

'to get to the other side'

[rock_26iin]

It twenty plus one is twenty one then why isn't ten plus one onety one??



If u throw a chameleon into water will it become transparent??



If u take an Oriental person and spin him round and round will he become dis-Oriented??

[ZC]

4. Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

just in case the guy inside is not actually dead, he wouldnt be able to open it up and sue u later..........

[vivek]

Hmm heres the best one



If you point to your wrist while you ask sometime the time, why don't you point to your butt while you ask someone where the bathroom is?

[ZC]

shud it be "drinking water" (what does water drink?) or "water for drinking"

[Mona Lisa Smile]

Another ccp job.



------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here you will find the top 45 oxymorons. An oxymoron is a combination of two words that are completely opposite in meaning. You've probably heard many of these before but didn't realize that they fall within this category.



45. Act naturally

44. Found missing

43. Resident alien

42. Advanced BASIC

41. Genuine imitation

40. Airline Food

39. Good grief

38. Same difference

37. Almost exactly

36. Government organization

35. Sanitary landfill

34. Alone together

33. Legally drunk

32. Silent scream

31. Living dead

30. Small crowd

29. Business ethics

28. Soft rock

27. Butt head

26. Military intelligence

25. Software documentation

24. New classic

23. Sweet sorrow

22. Child Proof

21. "Now, then ..."

20. Synthetic natural gas

19. Passive aggression

18. Taped live

17. Clearly misunderstood

16. Peace force

15. Extinct life

14. Temporary tax increase

13. Computer jock

12. Plastic glasses

11. Terribly pleased

10. Computer security

9. Political science

8. Tight slacks

7. Definite maybe

6. Pretty ugly

5. Twelve-ounce pound cake

4. Diet ice cream

3. Working vacation

2. Exact estimate

...And the number 1 oxymoron is..

1. Microsoft Works