Are we rude?

by **Ravi** » Fri Nov 28, 2003 12:01 pm

I have spent some time in the US and am back after a few years. After I came and started interacting with people - everyone was good and polite in my personal circles. But I encountered so much of rude behavior in the commercial fields that I started p[ondering whtether Hyderabadis are normally rude people in work environments. Some of my experie3nces include British Library, ICICI Banks, GTB Banks, and ofcourse the govt departments. Then the stories going around about Hyderabadi husbands being rude to their wives caught my ears. What do u think guys and gals - do we need to poder over this?

by **Fiddler** » Fri Nov 28, 2003 12:14 pm

Before forming an opinion, it would first be prudent to define exactly what one means by rude behaviour. Behaviour that is perfectly acceptable in some places may be considered rude in others, so it could be that,while Hyderabadis are used to the behaviour of other Hyderabadis, people who are used to a slightly different culture may find certain behaviours rude. For example: I, personally, consider the people in Pune rude for their lack or respect for my private space and for a lack of consideration for other people. however, that\'s just my view. The behaviour that inspires that opinion in me seems perfectly acceptable to other people, however.

by **JustaLittleUnwell** » Sat Nov 29, 2003 11:34 am

Haven\'t been to the US and hence wouldn\'t know the difference - but I think Hyderabadis are not rude. You atleast get polite replies, even if you dont get what you want.
 
 I\'m surprised that you found ICICI staff rude. Their service can improve a lot, and there is too much red tape, delays etc. but polite I think they are - and no, I dont work for ICICI

.
 
 One thing we need to remember is the number of people they have to deal with everyday, which might be tiresome and frustrating at times. This may or may not have been the case in the US situations you might\'ve come across. I\'m told that even in the US, there are notorious places like New York, but as I said, I dont have first hand knowledge.

by **Anil** » Sun Nov 30, 2003 4:39 am

Ravi, I was pondering over your topic when I came across this news item where a 41 year old lady was knocked to the ground and her fellow-customers just walked over her in a mad rush to buy a DVD player at a Thanksgiving Sale! The BIG surprise – this happened in Orange City, FLORIDA, USA (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/3249574.stm). I guess that clears this wrong notion we have that the west is more polite. Rudeness, my friend, is all pervading. I would prefer saying insensitiveness. We have become insolent. It’s not only in India but EVERYWHERE – a little less or a little more. You ought to visit New York or Chicago for a very first-hand experience of rudeness. Why New York or Chicago, the airports or the highways in USA – breeding grounds for incivility! Don’t you think, the USA’s acting as the world police and big brother unmindful of other countries is rude enough? I’m not a racist but you should go to Germany or meet some Germans to know, what really is rudeness all about? While staying at England and seeing some of the typical British civility, I was always wondering and was in disbelief – Are these really those people whose fore-fathers have subjected so many people including our fore-fathers to so much torture for so many years!
 
 Unfortunately, off-late, it’s a fact that one can’t get through a day without someone stressing you – the autowallah is rude, doctors are rude, there are always some obnoxious jerks in the office or at the grocery store, or a cable guy, the electricity fellow…. The list can just go on. Why, even some of these boards are really good examples to show how fast we are becoming insensitive and oblivious of a fellow human beings existence or mere opinion. Seemingly innocuous topics can flare our tempers so much that we are literally thirsting for each others blood. Most of the time it’s because we don’t want to reason out, or budge an inch from a stand we initially take.
 
 Agreed, we all are under a lot of stress many a times and do feel pushed to the edge. Unfortunately, incivility is highly contagious. We start with being rude to our parents or our siblings at home. The father takes it to his office and his colleagues. He/She carries it back to his/her home and the spouse is the victim. The spouse takes it on the kids or the maid. The kids take it on their friends and it goes on in one big vicious circle. However, most fortunately, civility is also equally contagious. Start your day with a smile or a few kind words for your fellow beings and see how it spreads around.
 
 I still feel that we can make the environs we dwell a lot better place by just two simple words “please” and “thank you” and a smile. Let’s use them effusively. After all what’s there to lose.

by **Jekyll and Hyde\'rabadi\'** » Mon Dec 01, 2003 8:41 am

I totally endorse the opinion that rudeness begets rudeness.
 And heard of the saying ? \'Most smiles are started by another one\'. I\'ve seen it work. In fact most of us have. Yeah everyone\'s got their own set of problems. This brings to mind a song I heard somewhere:
 
 Walk a mile, Walk a mile in his shoes
 Don\'t put down, criticize or accuse,
 Take the time to feel the things, he\'s going through,
 See just how it feels to walk a mile in his shoes.
 
 Here\'s to making a difference in our own small way!:-)

by **fried_green** » Tue Dec 02, 2003 12:16 pm

I dont think that rudeness is exclusively a working hyderabadi\'s trait.Let\'s face it.Here the customer service sucks.AND also,you can\'t expect \"Thankyou\'s and \"Have a nice day\'s\" at the drop of a hat.

by **Anil** » Sat Dec 06, 2003 11:42 pm

Here\'s more of insensitiveness or intolerance or just sheer callousness for a fellow life form! And oh yeah, this one is from Texas of the USA.
 
 This lady drives her car onto the McDonald\'s manager all because she didn\'t get the mayo dressing on her cheeseburger!!! Hmm... Mayo Maya!
 http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/3295965.stm

by **archana** » Sun Dec 07, 2003 12:19 am

Anil, you are showing isolated cases and portraying them as if the whole of the US is rude. Listen here.. if the whole of the US were rude and all people were nasty and impatient, why do you think this incident would show up in the national news like in BBC or CNN???
 
 On the other hand, if this were to happen in India they\'d pass it off as just another incident and I\'m sure would never appear in any local newspaper. I have had some weird experiences by rude clerks and government officials in India, esp Hyderabad.
 
 Of course even if I walk to the local newspaper office and tell them, they\'d not put them in the newspaper cuz these kind of incidents happen daily and people (indians and pakis) are generally rude by nature. its inherent, sorry to say.

by **Anil** » Sun Dec 07, 2003 2:21 am

Archana, no, I didn\'t say nor I am saying that ALL Westerners are rude. Neither do I agree with your \"inherent\" theory. No offense, but we are getting a little tired of this pak-bashing. It has lost its fizzle. It\'s like wielding a stop clock and measuring the time of certain physiological phenomenon and giving us a comparative account - fictitious or real. Frankly, no one cares. BTW, apologies, if any of my remarks are offensive. Believe me, nothing personal.

by **archana** » Sun Dec 07, 2003 3:22 am

Anil, why do you say \"we\"? Are you speaking on behalf of all the other people who post here? 

 
And most of what I said was true, and based on real events happening in my life and in the lives of my friends.

by **Anand** » Sun Dec 07, 2003 8:31 am

I guess for those who are visiting town or back for good, this percpetion isn\'t uncommon. True, the responses cud be a lot more cordial, but the residents are inured to the service they receive. Expect for the occassional brouhaha, they are nice enough to accept what they get.
 
 Yeah, for the folks just returned or visiting, it will take a lil\' bit of getting used to.
 
 Cheers!

by **JustaLittleUnwell** » Sun Dec 07, 2003 9:18 am

Looks like some Hyderabadis are indeed rude, esp. those living in NRI territories

Is rudeness an \'inherent\' NRI attribute, btw?

by **The fullhyd.com moderator** » Sun Dec 07, 2003 11:06 am

Hi everyone,
 

 
Kindly avoid personal attacks. Unfortunately the people involved are also usually quite articulate, and it pains us to remove such well-written flames

.
 

 
Mayavi, your missive made it

- the fullhyd.com discussion boards have been going through major changes, and will be relaunched with state-of-the-art features in the next 7 days. We do hope they will be much more worthy of everyone using these forums.

by **Mayavi Morpheus** » Sun Dec 07, 2003 12:34 pm

Oh thats great news. Let me know if I can be of any help. I know that a souped up forum software will cost $$, so as users we (taking the liberty to speak on behalf of all users) can share the burden - if its not very profitable for you to run a free discussion board.

by **Habitual Perfectionist** » Tue Dec 09, 2003 8:55 pm

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by **ring_bearer** » Wed Dec 10, 2003 12:50 am

hey guys it\'s my first message in the BB.
 I couldn\'t more than agree with what fiddler had to say \"Behaviour that is perfectly acceptable in some places may be considered rude in others, \" I live in Canada and we think the people in the states are insanely rude. New york and Boston being the worst offenders. Well, Not until I went to New Zealand that I realized how terribly rude we guys are in Canada.
 To me it is a matter of social conditions, interaction with people and family and interdependence on the society and myriad of other factors that rate us on the rudeness scale.
 Well when I am back in hyd, I don\'t expect my people to be like the canadians or norwegians.
 I was perfectly fine with them when I was in hyd, it never occured that they were rude. so I bet I will be fine with them now...

by **Ravi** » Fri Dec 12, 2003 4:57 pm

Thanks one and all for responding and giving me various view points on this topic. Feel much better. It is so obvious and I was still blind to it that people dont want to be rude but they might sound rude to me. Perspective is the word. And smile when you can in the hope that it will come back to you is what I learnt from some of the messages. The other day I went to a restaurant and spoke to the waiter very well - He was a Hotel Management Graduate from Jaipur. I welcomed him to Hyderabad and wished him all the best. Told him he was doing a great job. And you should see the smile on his face. And believe me in the hour we finished our dinner, this guy had the broadest smiling welcome for every customer walking in. Spread the smiles!

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