The Electronic National ID Card

by **\"BM\"** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 8:23 pm

The multi-purpose card is the latest version of our perpetually metamorphosing IC. With an embedded smart chip, it can also store our medical history, driver\'s license, act as an ATM card, serve as an electronic purse and even be used at the National Library. A likely scenario when ordering from Pizza Hut in the near future...
 
 
Operator: \"Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your...\"
 
Customer: \"Hello, can I order...\"
 
Operator : \"Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?\"
 
Customer: \"It\'s eh..., hold on... 6102049998-45-54610\"
 
Operator : \"OK... you\'re... Mr Singh and you\'re calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your home number is 40942366, your office 7645 2302 and your mobile is 014 266 2566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?
 
Customer: \"Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?\"
 
Operator: \"We are connected to the system, Sir\"
 
Customer: \"May I order your Seafood Pizza...\"
 
Operator: \"That\'s not a good idea, Sir\"
 
Customer: \"How come?\"
 
Operator : \"According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level, Sir\"
 
Customer: \"What?... What do you recommend then?\"
 
Operator : \"Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You\'ll like it\"
 
Customer: \"How do you know for sure?\"
 
Operator: \"You borrowed a book entitled \"Popular Hokkien Dishes\" from the National Library last week, Sir\"
 
Customer: \"OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then. How much will that cost?
 
Operator: \"That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $49.99.
 
Customer: \"Can I pay by credit card?\"
 
Operator: \"I\'m afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $3720.55 since October last year. That\'s not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.
 
Customer: \"I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives\"
 
Operator: \"You can\'t Sir. Based on the records, you\'ve reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today\"
 
Customer: \"Never mind just send the pizzas, I\'ll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?\"
 
Operator: \"About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can\'t wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle...\"
 
Customer: \" What!\"
 
Operator: \"According to the details in system, you own a Scooter, ...registration number E1123...\"
 
Customer: \" *\'!^ *%^**%^I7*\"
 
Operator: \"Better watch your language, Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman?\"
 
Customer: [Speechless]
 
Operator: \"Is there anything else, Sir?\"
 
Customer: \"Nothing... by the way... aren\'t you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?\"
 
Operator: \"We normally would Sir, but based on your records you\'re also diabetic...\"

by **Mayavi Morpheus** » Wed Sep 17, 2003 4:07 am

Two months later:
 
 
The pizzza hut is sued for accessing personal information where it is not necessary. This is a breach of privacy code associated with the N-ID. Pizza Hut is ordered to pay 10 Million Dollars to Mr. X (name withheld for reasons of privacy and security).

by **Kulcha Hyderabadi** » Wed Sep 17, 2003 9:18 am

One day, a man complained to his friend, \"My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor.\" The friend said, \"Don\'t do that. There\'s a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. And it costs $10\"
 
 
Jeff figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in his sample, deposited $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read: \"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labour. It will be better in two weeks.\"
 
 
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample of his dog, and urine samples of his wife and daughter. To top it off, he sowed his oats into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited $10. The machine again made usual noises, flashed lights, and printed out the following analysis:
 
 
\"Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softner. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant... twin girls. They aren\'t yours, get a lawyer. And... if you don\'t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

by MM » Wed Sep 17, 2003 10:11 am

Are you from Singapore?

The Electronic National ID Card