Hyderabad traffic rules... all is fair!

[vivek of themavericks... remember!!]

So,i have been observing the way everyone drives in Hyderabad and i present my 10 golden rules of driving in Hyderabad.Just like a proper research paper abstract,i present my Null hypothesis,which would be \" Its risky to follow traffic rules in Hyderabad.Quantifing the risk was beyond the scope of my paper\"
Rule 1 - Drive as you like - This is the best rule you would follow to survive in Hyderabad\'s roads.You should drive the way you want and at the speed of your choice.Others would adjust with great ease.Rule 2 - Crossing the road - Never wait till there is a gap to cross,because the odds of that happening is lower than Andhra Pradesh meeting the goals of Vision 2020 document.Just start crossing with your bike by direct Traffic penetration method(TPM).Others would suitably adjust with your movements.
rule 3 - Signals - There are very few nodes where the concepts behind the colours red,orange and green is properly articulated ,while at other nodes they are just assumed to be fancy colours.In nodes where the concept is known,just wait if its red and if you run out of patience..just start and go.Others would follow you and you would feel as a leader!
Rule 4 - Over taking - ALWAYS OVERTAKE FROM LEFT ,this a statement that should always ring in your head the moment you think of driving.Over taking from the left has no unique advantages in hyderabad except that,there is would be no place left for you to overtake from the right.Don`t bother of the consequences of you getting hit while overtaking from the left,the odds of that happening is weaker that vision 2020 goals to be met by 2040.
rule 5 - flyovers - Don\'t worry if you accidently or due to absent mindedness find yourself on a flyover and you wanted to take the road that lies below it.Almost every flyover that is in hyderabad lands on the same road.And those which don`t land on the same road ....never land(they remain incomplete)
rule -- 6 --Roadways - Always besure as to which road is a \"two way\".Many important roads here are oneway,so it would take ages for you to reach that shop which you just passed by,,,and by the time you reach after all the \"merry-go-round\" trip..you see that the shop just closed!
rule - 7 - Managing youth - There are several colleges in this city where boys and girls come to meet their boy friend and girl friends.When such a meeting takes place,you hear boys with adrenalin pumping faster than the gas that goes in the engine.You find boys with their respective girl friends zooming .Always allow then to go,and think that \"it is they who are in love..you are just a pathetic guy frustrated with Hyderabad\'s traffic\"
rule - 8 - Managing Public transport - We have 6 modes of public transport in Hyderabad namely (a) Ordinary bus(b) Metro express (c) Metro liner (d)Setwin buses (e) Auto rickshaws (f) so calles seven seaters( basically metalplates with an engine that works).Now all said and done,you can easily manage with all these things on the road.But you need to be an expert driver to manage the last of the kind,the so called seven seater.So called because they usuall are with 11 inside and 3 outside.They stop anywhere and do anything they wish.Basically,they are the expert drivers for a city like hyderabad.If you have to tackle them,you need to be a winner of the NFS Porche Unleashed without using cheats or simpler,just watch them drive.
Rule-9--Driving in oneway - I know i have dealt this before,but heres a useful tip. If you get struck in a oneway road.Don`t think much,just go in the opposite direction as if it was a two way traffic.No one would bother and if the big guy catches you just have a tenor ready.
rule - 10 - MUGUP ALL THE ABOVE RULES
ANYONE TO ADD SOMEMORE!

[Helen of Troy]

Whew! That was a long one......I\'ve been riding in my beloved city for sometime now......Drivers/Riders here can get away with anything. We Hyderabadis have to go a long way as far as obeying Traffic rules and regulations are concerned.

[hiall]

hmmmmmmmmmmm... are write something else yaar... there\'s no point discussing our traffic

[vivek of themavericks... remember!!]

Thats something i feel strongly man,we call Hyderabad as cyberabad or Hi-tecj city and all that..i have no idea how can people digest this fact when we have citizens with such a low civic and traffic sense.The Hitech area in Hyderabad is damn good simply because guys who stay there don`t come to downtown hyderabad.We are pathetic in the basic aspects.Everyone who visits hyderabad carries home just one complaint...bad traffic

[Awful Driver]

Its good that some one visiting hyderabad would atleast carry something. It is better than carrying nothing. We can think of looking into this matter seriously should you (Vivek) confirm that the visitors would carry many good things from hyderabad and along with it carry this one (per your say) and only complaint about traffic.

[vivek of themavericks... remember!!]

Ya man! i agree with you,but you see its like this.Someone who goes about admitting ones errors is a greater person then someone who hides the same.My 10 postulates on hyderabad\'s traffic is actually a depiction of the level of maturity Hyderabad citizens exibit.I am working on my next \"paper abstact\" if you will on 10 best things to remember about Hyderabad.That,i promise would be more interesting than this one.BY THE WAY,HOW MANY OF YOU ACTUALLY READ THIS LONG LIST OF POINTS ABOVE YOU?

[The Crackednut]

i did!

[vivek of themavericks...remember!]

thanks a lot buddy!,i wish everyone who answers to this boards read it full

[The Crackednut]

WHOA!!!!!!!!! damn, it does take time to wake up to the Truth these days!...It is worthwhile for a person who has completed a PhD in \"Similarities between Traffic in Hyderabad and Mars\" to explain it all in a common man\'s terms. We must all give our heartfelt thanks to Vivek for enlightening us. **applauds**. Having said that, it comes as a severe shock to me that i\'ve never followed such rules. GASP...and to think that i always overtook from the right! If i am alive today then it surely must be that The Heaven\'s have been kind to me. There was a T-Shirt i saw once... a scooterist with a pretty plain looking Black shirt, but on back were printed in bold \"IF YOU ARE READING THIS, THEN THE PILLION RIDER IS DEAD!\". And in true Hyderabadi sense, since two rights make a wrong, can the Pillion Rider be left behind. So The Crackednut would like to present the Golden Rules for a pillion rider who wants to survive on Hyd\'s roads : ----Rule 1: Always engage the driver in constant discussion of Tollywood\'s mysterious link with the word \"youth\", \"sentiment\" and \"family movie\". Doing so, he can capture the driver\'s attention so that his sight is not distracted by the posters and neon signs. -----Rule 2: Never sit in the same posture for more than 20 seconds. Doing so, enables even the driver to wobble about causing irregular horizontal movement of the scooter. This aids the driver in escaping from the crater-sized potholes, never-ending road constructions and lazy buffaloes. ----Rule 4: Always eat a lot of carrots or anyother stuff that improves eyesight. Scan the roads forever and locate the ever-troubling Traffic Policeman. On finding him make sure he doesn\'t look at you. In case he does, and is in fact waving his hand in any direction make sure u scream \"RUN!!\" into the driver\'s ear and head off in the oppsite direction.----Rule 5: Carry wads of 10 rupee notes in your pocket to bribe the traffic police. The driver is just too shocked after u screamed in his ear, so he or u can\'t reach beneath his bum for the wallet.---- and last but not the least,Rule 6: Never allow the rider to wear that Black shirt!!!!!!!!!!

[The Crackednut]

cool...so whatcha doing at around 1:23 in the night,vivek? **nudges** thinking of witty answers to wittier boards,eh? **wink**...but wait! come to think of it..what am i doing at 1:24 in the night!?!?!?!

[vivek of themavericks...remember!]

Hey cracked nut..you are a great intellegent dude i feel.I fact its 2 pm and i have the urge to justify you NICk cracked nut.Nut is attributed to being a jerk,so a cracked nut may that the \"jerkness\" disappered when the nut cracked open... bad one..eh!..but let it be 1 am and i would come out something brilliant.In the meantime.. accept this..*applause..applause*

[vivek of themavericks...remember!]

Dude! how do u know its 1:23 ? r u an undercover fullhyd employee??

[Mayor]

Vivek - Since quite long I am observing that you are seriously concerned and like to discuss about the improvement of the city Hyderabad - particulary the traffic system and the overbridges. I promise that every problem that you are concerned about will vanish - to do that I have decided that I would contest for the Mayor\'s position in next election. Wish me good luck and do whatever you can to ensure that i win.

[The Crackednut]

**bows down to applause**.. Thanks you, friends! thank you. vivek, the reason i commented on the time was b\'cos, i first finished replying to the last post, then went on to present my hypothesis. by the time i returned i found ur message there. so this small brain of mine figured out that you might be online! but anyways, that\'s a nice interpretation of why i use \"cracked\" as my nick ... but having said that, u could improvise!!! )

[vivek of themavericks... remember!!]

First of all,Hi cracked nut..and about that instant reply thing..i am always online dude.I am student at ASCI so i get glued to the net with out paying anything.So those replies.Anyways.Mr Fake Mayor..i have met the real one.All those guys come to ASCI for training.Let me be frank, a fake one like you would have a better presective of city planning then those babus.Firstly,Hyderabad\'s mayors let the city grow like a baniyan tree in a hapazard manner,then this I.T thing happened so,we needed to make our city like Singapore(CM wanted) so built flyover..and here i wish to state my usual crib..\" those kinds that start and end on the same road\".Hence,an arial view would make the city look great.This is actually a great strategy,while the potential investors and Investment bankers are about to land in Hyderabad,they see all these flyovers and get really impressed with the city and decide to pump in money,then our CM gives a tax holiday to them and then we have this city which developes at one end,while the other end has been ignored.So,we have a city thats not managable.Roads are small and to expand them would mean pulling down structures like NIC,I-T dept etc.So,even our mayor is left without choices.And ofcourse we have this MRTS project,thats gonna add salt to the injury.--- Mr Fake Mayor.if you contest..i promise i would vote for you and when you come to ASCI..i would meet you and tell you the fundas of town planning the way a citizen wants.You would be a hit then!

[vivek of themavericks... remember!!]

it seems that all you guys have suddenly decided to keep quite,did someone say something??

[BikeRider]

Did anyone mention the all powerful \'hand\'. Yeah! the same magical hand that people just throw up in the air (without the customary \'abraca dabra\') and expect all traffic to stop??? Its specially used to cross the road at fast lanes. Could have been a conspiracy by the ******** party to get some undue publicity.