Its PJ time..

[Peter Camenzind]

Thread for only PJs ( Poor Jokes...)



U can study and get any certificates.. but u cannot get ur death certificate







U may have AIRTEL or BSNL connection but when u sneeze u ll say HUTCH







U can bcom an engineer if u study in Engineering college .. u cannot bcom a president if u study in Presidency College







U can expect a BUS from a BUS stop ... u cannot expect a FULL from FULL stop







A mechanical engineer can bcom a mechanic but a software engineer cannot bcom a software







U can f ind tea in tea cup.. but cannot find world in world cup







U can find keys in Key board but u cannot find mother in mother board..

[Peter Camenzind]

Question

: You are in a boat in the middle of a river. You have 2 Cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette. You don't have anything else with you in the boat? How will you do it?



Answer: Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the boat will become LIGHTER........using this LIGHTER you can light the other Cigarette

[_ OFF]

Question
: You are in a boat in the middle of a river. You have 2 Cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette. You don't have anything else with you in the boat? How will you do it?

Answer: Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the boat will become LIGHTER........using this LIGHTER you can light the other Cigarette

_ OFF

[Peter Camenzind]

Question
: You are in a boat in the middle of a river. You have 2 Cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette. You don't have anything else with you in the boat? How will you do it?

Answer: Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the boat will become LIGHTER........using this LIGHTER you can light the other Cigarette

_ OFF

[Red Combat]

One Cheenti (ant) knocks the door of a house. House owner opens the door.



"I want a place to stay", said the Cheenti ...



"I have a vacant room which you can occupy for free of cost", said the owner. Cheenti went inside and occupied that vacant room.



After some days, the Cheenti brought in another Cheenti and requested the owner "Can you please allow this Cheenti to stay along with me".



"Oh sure, you can do so without paying any rent" said the owner.



After some days the Cheenti brought one more Cheenti and requested the owner to allow that Cheenti to stay with it. Owner agreed to it without asking for any rent.

This continues and Cheenti brings in one more Cheenti and owner agrees for it. On one fine day, the Cheenti brought in the tenth Cheenti and requested the owner to allow that tenth Cheenti also to stay with it.



The owner said "Ok, you all can stay here but you need to pay rent".



Now the question is : Why did the owner ask for rent when the tenth Cheenti came in?















Scroll down for the answer:



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Com'on, don't give up... just think, why Rent now?

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...Because they are now Tenants (Ten ants)!!

[Red Combat]

People usually ask obvious situations and some equally stupid answers:



1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends...





Stupid Question: Hey, what are you doing here?

Answer: Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here.





2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...





Stupid Question: Sorry, did that hurt?

Answer: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia. Why don't you try again?





3. At a funeral: One of the teary eyed people ask...





Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people.

Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you?





4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter..





Stupid Question: Is the "Paneer Butter Masala" dish good?

Answer: No, it's terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit on it.





5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years.





Stupid Question: Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.

Answer: We ll you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.





6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...





Stupid Question: Is the guy you're marrying well?

Answer: No, he's a miserable wife beating, insensitive lout...it's just the money.





7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...





Stupid Question: Sorry. Were you sleeping?

Answer: No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. And you thought I was sleeping.... You dumb witted moron.





8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...





Stupid Question: Hey have you had a haircut?

Answer: No, its autumn and I'm shedding.





9.At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...





Stupid Question: Tell me if it hurts?

Answer: No it won't. It will just bleed.





10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...





Stupid Question: Oh, so you smoke.

Answer: Gosh, it's a miracle ...it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!

[Red Combat]

Someone actually remembers all the varieties of forwarded messages.



poor guy must be really frustrated!!! See what he writes...







I want to thank all my friends and other unknown people who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2003, 2004 & 2005.



Because of your kindness:





* I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out that it's good only for removing toilet stains.



* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.



* I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.



* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.



* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.



* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat faeces and urine.



* When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl, no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me, then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.



* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl t! hat was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. (Poor girl! she's been 7 since 1993...)



* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made, expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me (when I participated in their special-mail program) would arrive soon.



* My free Nokia phone never arrived and neither did the free passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland .



* Still open to help someone from Bulgaria who wants to use my account to transfer his uncle's property of some hundred millions $.



* Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Dalai Lama, Ganesh Vandana, Tirupathi Balaji pics etc.. now most of those "Wishes" are already married (to someone else)



IMPORTANT NOTE:

If you do not send this e-mail to at least 23197607 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will sh*t on your head today at 6:30 p.m.

[HH]

PJ! ...

- I Am PJ ...
- Eh? ... Poor Joker !?! ...
- Er ... No ... Poor Jobber ...

[CtrlAltDel]

Tihar Jail ordered 999 shirts and 1000 pants for its inmates.



Why this odd combination ?





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Salman khan is coming.......

[smack]

LMAO



Funny ones

[Bimbette]

Have read all these somewhere but a good laugh is always welcome.



Keep them coming !