Marital Bliss ??

[Mona Lisa Smiles]

Well marriages are made in heaven or so they say.



If I'd ask "are all married people are happy?" surely I would open a can of worms to say the very least. I do not intend to take the discussion in that direction at all.



My only question is "If married people are really happy why do we have so many of them in chat rooms/dating sites/cell chats whatever ?".

[hi buddy]

Well marriages are made in heaven or so they say.

If I'd ask "are all married people are happy?" surely I would open a can of worms to say the very least. I do not intend to take the discussion in that direction at all.

My only question is "If married people are really happy why do we have so many of them in chat rooms/dating sites/cell chats whatever ?".

You are responsible for all you deeds...dont blame god...

Like there are all kinds of animals....carni,herbi,omni...there are

also diff kinds of ppl....its you who should realize the facts and act accordingly.....

cya dude

[Mona Lisa Smiles]

Thnx buddy. Wasnt asking for advise. I was only looking for some facts.

[Past Glory]

Their is no such thing as a perfect mairrage or a perfect relationship,if that was the case then why are so many ppl getting divorced?

[Portuguese Man-Of-War]

Well, who said married people are happy, anyway?

[Mayavi Morpheus]

My only question is "If married people are really happy why do we have so many of them in chat rooms/dating sites/cell chats whatever ?".

To be more happy!

One marriage = one wife/Husband = Happy.

One marriage + One girl friend/boy friend = doubly happy.

Twice married = Two wives/husbands = Bliss!

[Asli_Badmash]

Happy people make happy relationships.



If you are not happy inside there is no relationship in this world that will fix that. People can teach you how to be happy, but its an individuals choice to be happy and remain happy. This has everything to do with the person and how they take disappoinments in life. Happiness is a choice and not a matter of fate. Its a choice.



Also, For the record, Marraiges are not made in heaven they are brokered on this planet. Some times your parents sell you, some times you get into a deal yourself.



You dont have control on your parents selling you to someone. But you do have control on who you make a deal with. So when you do decide to get married, keep the emotions on the down-low and look at the practical side.



At the end of it all its all about compromise, how much are you willing to compromise and still be happy and content.

[JustaLittleUnwell]

You dont have control on your parents selling you to someone.

For Heaven's sakes, why not? Why dont we kid-egos look at them straight in the eye n say "Look Mr. / Mrs. so & so, I appreciate what you have done to me. Now, leave........" I think we 'kids' should start taking control of our lives once we are 20 or so. Your parents selling you to someone is not acceptable, IMO.

[Mona Lisa Smiles]

Why dont we kid-egos look at them straight in the eye n say "Look Mr. / Mrs. so & so, I appreciate what you have done to me. Now, leave........" I think we 'kids' should start taking control of our lives once we are 20 or so.

JLU need we say more. Many ladies get married even before they can start to think and it really doesnt speak much bout the guys who marry them either. The 20+ ppl should learn to stand up to parental/peer pressure and prolly learn to think n make decisions for emselves. Its after all their life!

At the end of it all its all about compromise, how much are you willing to compromise and still be happy and content.

Mr. Badmash what you say is sad but true. Everything comes with a price ... when you like someone so much and want to see it last you would probably accomodate and make adjustments. But then i wonder how would a person react if he/she found out about the spouse discreetly making profiles on these kinda sites? Is compromise the only recourse?

Well, who said married people are happy, anyway?

Oh yes heard this one before. Singles have just one problem that they arent married and married pl ..... ? But there are many ppl who would disagree with you (and me) but I would leave it to them to clarify.

[Asli_Badmash]

At the end of it all its all about compromise, how much are you willing to compromise and still be happy and content.

Mr. Badmash what you say is sad but true. Everything comes with a price ... when you like someone so much and want to see it last you would probably accomodate and make adjustments. But then i wonder how would a person react if he/she found out about the spouse discreetly making profiles on these kinda sites? Is compromise the only recourse?

Mona Lisa :

I understand it is wrong to make profiles and check out people when you have made a commitment to someone else.



If you think the spouse has broken the basic rule of relationship by checking out other people on a matrimonial website. One has to evaluate why he/she is doing it? What is missing in the relationship that the other person is looking for. Then one should sit down and think If he/she can fill that gap. If yes, then do it and you will notice that the other person will not look outside. If one cant then try to evaluate if he/she can live with the fact that this is always going to be a problem. The only recourse is to bring the matter up with the spouse and confront him/her. Most people back down when confronted and issue is resolved.



Compromise is very subjective. Its subjective to the

- The people involved in the negotiation.

- The situation they are trying to negotiate.



Compromise is not the recourse always. Some times you have to kick ass to get people straight. People will always push you to check how far you can bend down. If you set the limits they wont push you down futher.



I have this to say about compromise... Compromise with dignity. If some one loves you they would respect you anyway. But anytime you see your rights have been crushed or someone is treating you unfair... stand up and kick ass! Some people dont understand the meaning of respect. For them fear is respect!



At the end of it all.. Its all about respect.



~Badmash~

[Five7Jaan]

This is what I believe:

I agree with Asli, there has to be a compromise and yes, sometimes you cannot control circumstances...but everything has to do with your attitude!



You can have the most compatible people on the planet and the marriage won't work because they annoy each other. And, marriage is not something that you should look at till the point of having a married status, it is the actual life you lead AFTER it.



As to the original question posted by Mona Lisa Smiles: People are very insecure, even in the most happiest of marriages/relationships. They think they need to figure they love/marriage life by experimenting with other options but in truth, they need to figure themselves out first.

[Sri]

Well, who said married people are happy, anyway?

Oh yes heard this one before. Singles have just one problem that they arent married and married pl ..... ? But there are many ppl who would disagree with you (and me) but I would leave it to them to clarify.[/quote]



This reminds of a famous qoute ... dont know how come it hasnt proped up till now here : ----



MARRAIGE IS A CASTLE WHERE PEOPLE IN TRY TO GET OUT AND PEOPE OUT TRY TO GET IN



that answers it all I guess )





Luv

Sri !!![/b]

[:)))))))))))]

Whoo.. hooo. I find this guy good, asli badmash. mature.. good sense of humor (PGish ), intelligent......



...and.. NO am not light maroing



Cannot. have one to whom I do, for the last.... years.. my husband ))))



and yup, marriage is wonderful and yes it needs compromises and adjustemnts and respecting each other and the values that each stands for and , well, IT certainly is tight rope walking. SO WHAT? what relationship aint !?



This one has immense power to give the worlds' most wonderful feelings and..... gtg

[voyeur]

my favourite topic! I believe there IS NO such thing as happy marriage! Even couples who got married because they "fell in love" will tell u that they feel the same pressure as ppl who got married by "arranged marriage"! Society as such has become very complex and there are numerous pressures a couple faces(work, financial, kids, relatives etc etc.) and sometimes, it's easy to vent on each other and the result? Loss of intimacy and genuine effection!!



I posted a poll on justindian and guess what? ONLY about 50% of the anonymous replies said they are happy with the marriage, inspite of minor differences!! %age of men/women contemplating extra-maritial affairs was pretty close 14% vs 12%...so go figure.

[hyderabadi]

why do we go to a hotel when everything is made at our own kitchen>>. just for fun right... similarly chat.broswing, surfing is all just for fun sake.. not to be disloyal to the partner....

[ZC]

why do we go to a hotel when everything is made at our own kitchen>>. just for fun right... similarly chat.broswing, surfing is all just for fun sake.. not to be disloyal to the partner....

em cheppavu ra mava

[ZC]

My only question is "If married people are really happy why do we have so many of them in chat rooms/dating sites/cell chats whatever ?".

what makes u think that, if a married person visits a chat/discussions....... means (s)he is unhappy with marriage.......... not everyone who visits a bar is a devadas, not everyone who visits a temple is a saint, my friend Hyderabadi would agree on this...............

[Mona Lisa Smile]

I didnt say just chat/discussions. I also mentioned dating sites.



Well now that hyd'i has made it so clear... it must be the quest for variety (not only in food habits) that draws them to these virtual sites.

[ZC]

My only question is "If married people are really happy why do we have so many of them in chat rooms/dating sites/cell chats whatever ?".

what was that out of the three things, only one is bang on target, the other two things worked like a Taliban Missile..........asking something and meaning something

[CtrlAltDel]

I didnt say just chat/discussions. I also mentioned dating sites. Well now that hyd'i has made it so clear... it must be the quest for variety (not only in food habits) that draws them to these virtual sites.

do u mean to say that anybody can successfully find a lover in a dating site? i've neither seen nor heard of anyone doing so, at least in india!





seriously, most men visit dating sites only for kicks, since they know their efforts in mailing listed ladies hardly result in a reply (blame statements like "I want you...", "u need me...", "my size is....." etc and plain bad english, for one!).



just as viewing net porn is not a sign of "cheating" the spouse, i feel browsing dating sites too falls in the same catagory.

[Mona Lisa Smile]

Here is some info on the Taliban missiles, just so you know

Chat Room

A variation on the interactive message board, it is a Web site for live, online conversation in which any number of computer users can type messages to each other and communicate. These messages usually appear on an area of the screen next to the user's nickname or handle. Most chat rooms have a particular topic (which you are expected to discuss), but some chat rooms are purely for meeting other people. Other chat rooms are designed as elaborate 3-D environments, where you select an avatar that represents you in this virtual meeting place.



Cell chat or SMS dating

A variation of the above the only difference being the medium with which the messages are being sent/received. Messages through these are far more discreet as the device is small enough to fit into one's pocket.

just as viewing net porn is not a sign of "cheating" the spouse, i feel browsing dating sites too falls in the same catagory.

Ppl only browsing dating sites....no problem but I dont quite agree that viewing porn and creating profiles fall in the same category. Viewing porn maybe done regularly out of habit. But creating profiles on a dating site could prolly end up in a discreet affair.



What are the chances no one knows? But just that a spouse is ready to plunge into an affair would be enough to ruin one's peace of mind for sometime. And even if one does let it pass and give the partner a second chance its very possible that he/she becomes very suspicious in nature. Technology does make things very convinient for all those who seem willing. SMS dating services seem to thrive mostly because they are so discreet. You could catch anyone, anytime, anywhere and ......... express yourself ..so to speak



But like its been said ... one would prolly need to do a reality check and get down to the basics instead of overreacting and hurling accusations. Probably the truth would set him/her freee ..............

[ZC]

Ppl only browsing dating sites....no problem but I dont quite agree that viewing porn and creating profiles fall in the same category. Viewing porn maybe done regularly out of habit. But creating profiles on a dating site could prolly end up in a discreet affair.

viewing porn is okay as compared to creating profiles what if the guy/gal wants to try out all that (say oral sex for example), and his spouse is not willing, then starts visiting a prostitute or starts off an affair.......... what do u say....possible or not

[CtrlAltDel]

what if the guy/gal wants to try out all that (say oral sex for example), and his spouse is not willing, then starts visiting a prostitute or starts off an affair...

i'd love to read his "requirements" in the dating site!!!







ok...lets have a fun debate:



for the above hypothetical situation, which is the best thing to do for men or women:



1) resign to your fate that u wont get "it"...



2) hire a pros/gigolo , as the case may be...



3) have an affair...



4) any other better suggestion...



unleash yr creativity guys!

[Mona Lisa Smile]

ZC may be its possible ... but if a person is aware of his/her spouses preferences he/she would probably be aware of the consequences of not agreeing to it. With posting profiles the spouse might not even know a bit of whats going on.....



And then I am of the opinion that there is a lot more to marriage than just that.

[asli_badmash]

ZC may be its possible ... but if a person is aware of his/her spouses preferences he/she would probably be aware of the consequences of not agreeing to it. With posting profiles the spouse might not even know a bit of whats going on.....

And then I am of the opinion that there is a lot more to marriage than just that.

I agree with Mona...

Marraige is a human relationship... its not a buisness deal, you cannot draw a parallel between marraige and eating food at home and going to a restaurant to check out other dishes. In marraige you make a choice, you either eat at home or you eat at hotels all time. Bottom line is you can either be faithful to your spouse or not marry at all. Its your choice, you cant have the cake and eat it too.

why do we go to a hotel when everything is made at our own kitchen>>. just for fun right... similarly chat.broswing, surfing is all just for fun sake.. not to be disloyal to the partner....

Its only fair to say, while you are busy eating at hotels, you should not be surprised if your wife/husband is eating with your neighbour. If you get what I mean.



~Badmash~