How to figure this one out?

by **Indifferent** » Fri Dec 12, 2003 10:39 am

You love this person. But due to various reasons, it doesn\'t work out between you. So you move on and finally find someone else (ok probably not as good as the first one but that\'s only because the first time is always special) and when u\'re fairly happy, the first one comes back. What do u do then? Do u stick with the present one or go back to the first one? Sonds like a movie but hey, it happened more than once with ppl i know... what say u guys??

by **Srinu** » Fri Dec 12, 2003 10:54 am

if u r a character in a bollywood movie, dont worry, one of them ultimately dies and u r left with no \"ugly\" choices to make. but seriously, i think stick to ur \"present\" one. and if it seriously is happening more than once (with u) then let them both go. basically u deserve neither.

by **Fiddler** » Fri Dec 12, 2003 10:58 am

Depends on your reaction. If you\'ve moved on emotionally, then it doesn\'t really make sense to go back to the first one, because whatever magic you had is gone. If you haven\'t, however, and are still stuck on that person, then it could be a good idea (even though it is very movie-ish). In my experience, though, it\'s not really a good idea. People don\'t change that drastically that whatever caused the friction between the both of you would have magically disappeared. More often than not, it\'s a personality issue, and people don\'t change so completely that the issue won\'t crop up again.
<br>But if I were involved with someone else, and relatively happy, I\'d rather stick with that than take the risk of throwing that away and finally ending up with nothing anyway.

by **Indifferent** » Sat Dec 13, 2003 9:59 am

But the point is that, you\'ve come to the 2nd person ONLY becasue the 1st one did not materialize. If not, you wouldn\'t have gone to the 2nd in the first place. Er, a li\'l confusing... I think we can even solve Israele-Palestine if we solve this one...

by **profession-swapper** » Sat Dec 13, 2003 7:10 pm

<br>it has a simple solution..stay with the current one...forget the past...this will be best for all...coz if u dont u will again feel that the second one was better and u did a wrong thing.........

by **Pastglory** » Thu Feb 19, 2004 8:50 pm

Stick to the new one if the old one was all that great in the first place she wouldnt have left u...right?

by **Mr. Indifferent** » Fri Feb 20, 2004 1:36 am

Being with someone on the rebound is the worst thing to do. You are not completely positive in the relationship.

As to going back to the first one, perhaps the reasons why you separated in the first place needs review.

You broke up for a fairly good reason and you had to immeditely find someone else to alleviate your emotions.

by **Five7Jaan** » Fri Feb 20, 2004 1:38 am

Sorry, the past message posted by "Mr. Indifferent" is mine. I thought I was typing that in the Subject header.

My apologies,

by **Asli_badmash** » Fri Feb 20, 2004 1:54 am

Listen... Looking at the situation; three or more things can happen..

1) You Decide to stick with the second - Probably the most sanest, because people change over time and even if the first person who you were involved with comes along, you dont know wether you will click again!

2) You decide to go back to the first - I can see this happening specially if you dont have a strong relationship with the second partner. In that case you can think about this option but before you go back to the first person evaluate all the following questions

---- (1) Why did you break up?

---- (2) How have you changed over the period of time?

---- (3) How has the other person changed over time ?

---- (4) Were you the one to break up? If yes then why are you going back? Do you really love the other person or are just doing this because the other person is available!

---- (5) Do you belive that both of you can work out all the differences ?

---- (6) If the other person broke up with you.. have you forgiven the person breaking up with you in the first place? This is very important, if you cant forgive then dont get back, because you will never succeed EVER!

3) Dump them both - This can happen if you dont have a strong relationship with the second person and cant reconcile with the first person and If you cant stop thinking about the first person. This is a good time to take a break and do some self-evaluation. Try to answer, What do YOU want?

Eventually, it comes down to making a choice and stickign by it. I understand its tough to make a choice, but this world is all about choices.

~Badmash~

How to figure this one out?