let me share my experiacne going through a real time story happened recently in hyderabd. i will be happy if this incident is passed on to every friend of yours so that u will all be contributing for right cause.
i have come across an arranged marriage which has ruined 2 families and r still suffering. girl is from hyd and the guy from abroad both liked each other in first sight got married in 1 month. after that girl went abroad , stayed for 3 months and came back and not willing to go back. reasons citd are non-compatibility, non satisfaction , ex-friends of her who have spoiled her mind (guys) saying her they will take care of her if she leaves her husband. this girl is not going back now and for her, her husband if suffering his family, the girls family are all suffering, praying day and night. this girl become stubborn, threatening everybody who ever comes to tell her to go back. i have never come across such misery in life.
this marriage has ruined so many for the fantacy of this girl who just walked into marriage without any commitment.
this girl was very nice to her husband before she came to stay with him and was showing lot of love. after she came back she changed totally. the husband trusted and loved his wife so much that he had sent her alone to stay with her childhood frind who is a guy. the husband being a brahmin allowed her to eat non-veg too despite being a orthodox brahmin. he gave her what ever she wanted. he treated her as a daughter cum wife as she was pampered by her parents before marriage. he gave that type of life to this girl. some old friends of her who were guys have changed her mind and this girl is under their influence. she is not allowing anybody to talk on this subject.
the boys family is undergoing tremendous pain and agony, she has humiliated her husband when ever he tried to express his love from abroad. the boys parents were also humiliated when they went to request for her come back. the girl is proud that she is very beautiful and she can get anything/anybody.she calld off the marriage , removed the mangala sutra .
she is in hyderabad only making people around in deep suffering.
frinds who ever are reading this topic, please be good to ur friends who are married, never try to spoil the relation between wife and husband and always try to reconcile a marriage, because a marriage can make or break. the families are still suffering and waiting for the god to act on this girl...
who ever is reading this article just pray for a second that these couple unite back in support of a righteous cause.
i will appreciate if ppl can forward encouraging words to the waiting husband and give him hope that right will still prevail in this world.
Righteousness in an Unfaithful/Deceitful world
Moderator: The Moderator Team
9 posts
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Few questions:
1. Are u the greiving husband?
2.
What do you mean by that?
3.
What do you mean by that? BTW, isnt he indian?
4.What is the righteous cause
5.What is the point of this topic?
My understanding of the situation: The girl lovces someone but was forced into a marriage with someone else. Her boyfriend is now ready to accept her even after marriage and she ditched her husband for her boyfriend
. Heard a similar story before.
Ok, not exactly encouraging words, but I dont think you will get better response than this one. You cant just give one side of the story and blame the girl for everything.
1. Are u the greiving husband?
2.
sent her alone to stay with her childhood frind who is a guy
What do you mean by that?
3.
he tried to express his love from abroad
What do you mean by that? BTW, isnt he indian?
4.What is the righteous cause
5.What is the point of this topic?
My understanding of the situation: The girl lovces someone but was forced into a marriage with someone else. Her boyfriend is now ready to accept her even after marriage and she ditched her husband for her boyfriend
. Heard a similar story before.Ok, not exactly encouraging words, but I dont think you will get better response than this one. You cant just give one side of the story and blame the girl for everything.
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Mayavi Morpheus - Level 2 Lord
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Mayavi Morpheus wrote:My understanding of the situation: The girl lovces someone but was forced into a marriage with someone else. Her boyfriend is now ready to accept her even after marriage and she ditched her husband for her boyfriend
Ok, not exactly encouraging words, but I dont think you will get better response than this one. You cant just give one side of the story, blame the girl for everything.
well said!...and he does sound like the husband in question!-
CtrlAltDel - God!
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I think both of you (CAD and MM) have been quite insensitive. Surprising, considering some of your posts show plenty of evolution. And what were those digs about who the husband is, anyway? Great, you have brilliant deductive skills. Now has the world become a better place for that? Why do you care anyway, who the husband is?
There are times in life when you just need hope, and that's the only thing that helps you continue living. Different persons have different ways in which they look at the world. Some people are not affected by anything, but most are not like that. Maturity is all about understanding that a strength that you may possess is not there with everyone, and then seeing the world from their point of view. Also, you should not have to yourself be (or have been) in a certain position, to understand what someone else in that position is feeling or going through.
In general, I try to NEVER be critical of anyone going through a bad patch, even if sometimes (and this is certainly not one of those cases) it appears that the person brought it upon himself, or that he's not handling it as well as he can. Remember that HE is the sad one.
Mithr, whoever your friend is, tell him that there is a God, and that He helps. Your friend has to ask God strength to bear the pain, until the time comes when He actually decides to undo all that is unfair. Remember that the problem here is not anything external - it is the pain in your mind. And if you ask properly, God will heal that. In my experience, God NEVER refuses. These are situations where perhaps God is the only recourse - it's easy for people around you to give fundas about mental fortitude and about seeing the brighter things in life. It does not happen. God, however, does. Because He realizes that He did not create everyone with the mental makeup of The Buddha.
I myself will pray for your friend, and will do it with all my heart. I am absolutely sure that things will be perfectly all right in very little time. Your friend is a good man, and good things always happen to good men.
There are times in life when you just need hope, and that's the only thing that helps you continue living. Different persons have different ways in which they look at the world. Some people are not affected by anything, but most are not like that. Maturity is all about understanding that a strength that you may possess is not there with everyone, and then seeing the world from their point of view. Also, you should not have to yourself be (or have been) in a certain position, to understand what someone else in that position is feeling or going through.
In general, I try to NEVER be critical of anyone going through a bad patch, even if sometimes (and this is certainly not one of those cases) it appears that the person brought it upon himself, or that he's not handling it as well as he can. Remember that HE is the sad one.
Mithr, whoever your friend is, tell him that there is a God, and that He helps. Your friend has to ask God strength to bear the pain, until the time comes when He actually decides to undo all that is unfair. Remember that the problem here is not anything external - it is the pain in your mind. And if you ask properly, God will heal that. In my experience, God NEVER refuses. These are situations where perhaps God is the only recourse - it's easy for people around you to give fundas about mental fortitude and about seeing the brighter things in life. It does not happen. God, however, does. Because He realizes that He did not create everyone with the mental makeup of The Buddha.
I myself will pray for your friend, and will do it with all my heart. I am absolutely sure that things will be perfectly all right in very little time. Your friend is a good man, and good things always happen to good men.
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Portuguese Man-Of-War - Registered User
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- Location: Hyderabad
Kind words PMoW, hope the story has a happy ending. But what can that happy ending be? The girl going back to the husband or living with her boy friend for whom she is ready to annull the marriage?
The first thing that came to mind after reading this story is whether the person is giving the actual account or playing with words to give an impression that the girl is a stubborn bonehead? That is the most important question since he already posted this in another topic, so why create a new thread for this and to top it all why ask for sympathetic words?
I really didnt understand the purpose of this thread. Will some kind words from you or me or FH mods change the life of his friend? Agreed, they will give him hope, but does he have any shortage of friends or family members that he has to ask for sympathy on a discussion baord?
Even if they will, this topic and our sympathetic words makes sense if the thread was started by the husband in question and not some third persson? what will he do? print out our messages and send them abroad or forward this thread to the 'person abroad'?
And as you said, one should never be critical of a person going through a bad patch. But what about the person who is going thru a bad patch and wrongfully blaming others for his own misery?
Kind words are not needed in this case, what is necessary is someone who can show him what reality is, what is the reason for his situation now. Who knows what the actual reason for the girl to leave him is? May be she is right, the guy is really treating her like a daughter and not as a wife. Girls do have some aspirations and some hopes. What if he turned out to be everything she hated? Worse still, what if her parents donot understand her position and are forcing her into the unhappy relation. Freedom and happiness is more important than marriage. But our friend, mithr, seems to say that marriage is important over everything. I definitely wont pray for their union till I know the other side of the story. That is why I asked those questions.
Harsh? yes. Unreasonable? No.
If his story has the truth, he will answer my questions.
I heard similar story from a friend. Everything same, guy marries a girl arranged by family, lived happily for one month in US and suddenly girl disappeared leaving a note that she is going to her boyfriend. Turns out that the girl loved another guy before marriage and was forced into this marriage. Guy didnt bother to ask her abt past life before marriage, or if she like him and the girls parents didnt think it was necessary to ask her if she likes the guy. Also the guy didnt have a wonderful past too, had too many relations with other girls just for fun and wanted a wife just for dowry and housekeeping. Now tell me who is to blame here? The girl or guy? or the family?
I gave two sides of story, what if I only gave the girls version or guys version?
The first thing that came to mind after reading this story is whether the person is giving the actual account or playing with words to give an impression that the girl is a stubborn bonehead? That is the most important question since he already posted this in another topic, so why create a new thread for this and to top it all why ask for sympathetic words?
I really didnt understand the purpose of this thread. Will some kind words from you or me or FH mods change the life of his friend? Agreed, they will give him hope, but does he have any shortage of friends or family members that he has to ask for sympathy on a discussion baord?
Even if they will, this topic and our sympathetic words makes sense if the thread was started by the husband in question and not some third persson? what will he do? print out our messages and send them abroad or forward this thread to the 'person abroad'?
And as you said, one should never be critical of a person going through a bad patch. But what about the person who is going thru a bad patch and wrongfully blaming others for his own misery?
Kind words are not needed in this case, what is necessary is someone who can show him what reality is, what is the reason for his situation now. Who knows what the actual reason for the girl to leave him is? May be she is right, the guy is really treating her like a daughter and not as a wife. Girls do have some aspirations and some hopes. What if he turned out to be everything she hated? Worse still, what if her parents donot understand her position and are forcing her into the unhappy relation. Freedom and happiness is more important than marriage. But our friend, mithr, seems to say that marriage is important over everything. I definitely wont pray for their union till I know the other side of the story. That is why I asked those questions.
Harsh? yes. Unreasonable? No.
If his story has the truth, he will answer my questions.
I heard similar story from a friend. Everything same, guy marries a girl arranged by family, lived happily for one month in US and suddenly girl disappeared leaving a note that she is going to her boyfriend. Turns out that the girl loved another guy before marriage and was forced into this marriage. Guy didnt bother to ask her abt past life before marriage, or if she like him and the girls parents didnt think it was necessary to ask her if she likes the guy. Also the guy didnt have a wonderful past too, had too many relations with other girls just for fun and wanted a wife just for dowry and housekeeping. Now tell me who is to blame here? The girl or guy? or the family?
I gave two sides of story, what if I only gave the girls version or guys version?
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Mayavi Morpheus - Level 2 Lord
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Am reminded of a quote I read recently "Sorrow makes you look back, worry makes you look around and hope makes you look up". No matter how much a person says he/she understands what one is going thru, its only the person in the middle knows what it really feels like.
Surely, a failed marriage/relationship would leave deep wounds on one's psyche and even when they heal there would be scars. But in the end one must move on. One must make an effort to get out of the mess and move on coz there really is a lot more to life. Be positive and hope for the best because God help those who help themselves.
Surely, a failed marriage/relationship would leave deep wounds on one's psyche and even when they heal there would be scars. But in the end one must move on. One must make an effort to get out of the mess and move on coz there really is a lot more to life. Be positive and hope for the best because God help those who help themselves.
"Some people are so poor that the only thing they have is money"
- Mona Lisa Smile
- Registered User
mithr sees his way and he wants compassion and hope. why cant we give him that ? and as the time passes, we can always give him the posibiltiy of this rishta not working.
I guess, what he needed was more of some kind words.
I cannot resist this suggestion, though, Mithir. A marriage is a life long commitment. if this girl was not able to keep her side of the commitment, what is the big point in making her see your side of the view? it may inevitably come to a disgusting end finally, making innocent children suffer, probably?
No doubt you will be hurt, unhappy and all the rest of it, but is this not better than having to face this situation after you are more involved with her?
so, let bygones be bygones. again, its just my suggestion.
I guess, what he needed was more of some kind words.
I cannot resist this suggestion, though, Mithir. A marriage is a life long commitment. if this girl was not able to keep her side of the commitment, what is the big point in making her see your side of the view? it may inevitably come to a disgusting end finally, making innocent children suffer, probably?
No doubt you will be hurt, unhappy and all the rest of it, but is this not better than having to face this situation after you are more involved with her?
so, let bygones be bygones. again, its just my suggestion.
- Tammanna
- Registered User
even assuming that the situation is EXACTLY as written here, it seems senseless to continue the relationship. why spoil the life of both of them?
mithrji, ask your "friend" to start divorce proceedings. its not easy but its better to face trauma once for some time instead of battling it thruout his AND her life.
both of them can call it "good riddance to bad rubbish" and get over it soon.
As MM said, this is just one side of the story and we can neither blame nor sympathise without knowing fully what has hapnd.
finally tell yr "friend" that there are more fish in the water...there is no need to cry over the one that got away.
mithrji, ask your "friend" to start divorce proceedings. its not easy but its better to face trauma once for some time instead of battling it thruout his AND her life.
both of them can call it "good riddance to bad rubbish" and get over it soon.
As MM said, this is just one side of the story and we can neither blame nor sympathise without knowing fully what has hapnd.
finally tell yr "friend" that there are more fish in the water...there is no need to cry over the one that got away.
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CtrlAltDel - God!
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- Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2002 5:02 pm
- Location: by the Workshop
Thanks for your responses
the intention of me putting it on a discussion board is very simple. i have seen this friend of mine suffering on this issue for the last 5 months. In this case he has nothing to loose. he can also call off and look forward to his own life. but the faith he is exercising on this marriage and his unconditional love has made me to bring it to a discussion forum.
i know the world will not accept/support anything so easily. i want to say one more thing. this guy loves the girl a lot. he is never blaming the girl but hoping/praying for her come back. let me also tell you, he knows everything of her wrong, yet he never opened to anybody. silently he has taken all humiliation. he is gone so much in fath that today he cannot reply bad with bad, insult with insult, hatred with hatred but only with love for everything. it was shocking to see a guy still hanging on to something which the whole world has written off just like your analysis..
i really do not know what the guy is going to end up with , i m just here to support him in his faith..
I wish no body should face such trauma in life, because i have never seen such suffering. the boys mother spending most of the time in a temple whole day and praying for her daughter in law's return, fasting since last 5 months and much more pain ....to share
but i think may be i m wrong in posting my friends suffering..
i m sorry if i m not supposed to share someone's grief on a discussion board. i did put this under another topic, but i wished by posting as a seperate topic, i will get much support and what i m expecting finally from anyone who ever is reading is....
we may not be able to help him in any way, but sure we can just pray for a second that his desire may be fulfilled, afterall he is asking for his own wife return.
i know the world will not accept/support anything so easily. i want to say one more thing. this guy loves the girl a lot. he is never blaming the girl but hoping/praying for her come back. let me also tell you, he knows everything of her wrong, yet he never opened to anybody. silently he has taken all humiliation. he is gone so much in fath that today he cannot reply bad with bad, insult with insult, hatred with hatred but only with love for everything. it was shocking to see a guy still hanging on to something which the whole world has written off just like your analysis..
i really do not know what the guy is going to end up with , i m just here to support him in his faith..
I wish no body should face such trauma in life, because i have never seen such suffering. the boys mother spending most of the time in a temple whole day and praying for her daughter in law's return, fasting since last 5 months and much more pain ....to share
but i think may be i m wrong in posting my friends suffering..
i m sorry if i m not supposed to share someone's grief on a discussion board. i did put this under another topic, but i wished by posting as a seperate topic, i will get much support and what i m expecting finally from anyone who ever is reading is....
we may not be able to help him in any way, but sure we can just pray for a second that his desire may be fulfilled, afterall he is asking for his own wife return.
- Mithr
- Registered User
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